This Women's History Month, Amplify Your Influence

Happy Women's Hitory Month! Each March, we celebrate how women have influenced the course of U.S. history. I hope this special observance has your thinking about how to more powerfully put your own influence into play.

The ability to influence has always been one of the most important skills for leaders. Today, that's truer than ever. As leadership structures become less hierarchical, companies increasingly emphasize getting things done through influence instead of formal authority. Innovation is vital, and the leaders who deliver innovation are those who can "win over (employees') hearts and minds" to create change, McKinsey reports. The CEOs who are best at engaging others create detailed plans on how to influence.

The action plan in this article will guide you through building your influence in a way that's authentic to your leadership style.

What Does Influence Mean to You?

Many leaders want to be more influential. But that can mean different things to different people. It all depends on how you want others to perceive your leadership. These questions can help you identify the kind of influencer you want to be.

• What do you want others to say about your influence? This is a variation of the question I ask clients when I help them define their leadership brand. What are the top three things you’d want someone to say if they were describing your influence style? For example, maybe it's important to you that others see you as a leader who influences by thoughtfully sharing relevant information, focusing on win/win approaches and keeping the other party’s best interest at heart.

• What kinds of decisions do you want to influence? We all have our strengths. What types of decisions could you influence today based on how others view your strengths? These could include shaping vision, defining strategies, making changes to business operations or staffing decisions. On the other hand, think about what types of decisions would be harder for you to influence based on how others perceive your strengths.

• Whom do you want to influence? Do you want clients or other leaders in your industry to see you as a thought leader? Or is it more important to you to influence others inside your organization, such as peers, direct reports and company leaders? Even if it is a mix of both, defining your target audience will help you build influence faster.

Influence Starts With Credibility

Now that you know more about the kind of influencer you want to be, it's time to shape your plan to become influential. Where should you start? Credibility is at the heart of influence. Without credibility, you can’t effectively influence, no matter what approach you take.

Not sure whether others see you as credible enough to influence a particular area? Seek some feedback. If you hear questions about your credibility, correct any misperceptions by helping others see your strengths and the results you create. Share examples of how you consistently add value, in a way that’s relevant for the audience.

If you’re like many high performers, though, you may need to take a step back before you can do this. We often underestimate our own strengths and all that we contribute. If you don't understand why you're "kind of a big deal," you can't effectively share that information with others. And that undercuts your influence. Affirm your credibility to yourself by keeping a log of what worked well for you in your latest successes. Then you'll be more ready to demonstrate your credibility to others.

Influencers See the Big Picture

The intelligence, insight and other qualities you bring to the table are just part of what makes you influential as a leader. You also have to be known as someone who’s not just in it for yourself. Connect what you do to the big picture of what’s right for the organization. Sometimes we can be so clear in our own heads about what we are doing that we forget that others may not understand the intent behind our words and actions.

For example, if you speak just about your (or your department’s) goals and priorities, it can leave others wondering whether your motivation is self-serving. That can quickly erode your credibility. So look for opportunities, big and small, to communicate your big picture and priorities to others – the “what” and the “why.” You don’t have to create new forums to do so; you can leverage existing meetings and opportunities.

Influence Grows Through Relationships

One of the biggest mistakes I see my executive coaching clients make is confusing position and influence. Titles on the org chart don’t tell the full story. All organizations have formal leaders whose power ties to their positions. But they also have informal leaders who shape what really gets done.

Being an influential leader means looking beyond formal structures and recognizing that it’s not just your position (or someone else’s position) that makes things happen. You have to understand, cultivate and leverage relationships, with both formal and informal leaders.

Hone Your Process for Influence

The final part of the influence equation relates to the processes you use to build influence. Be strategic about how you leverage and engage others. For example, how often do you hold the “meeting before the meeting” to get buy-in from others and avoid surprises? Are you enlisting help from the messengers your audience will find credible? Look at what you do today and for any small tweaks you could make to bring others along more effectively.

What Does Using These Influence Strategies Look Like?

Now let's bring all of that together. Think about an upcoming decision you'd like to influence. First, identify who will really make the decision. If you aren’t sure about the political dynamics in your company, ask people you trust who have been around long enough to know. Frame your questions in the right context by communicating how a better understanding of the landscape will help you avoid landmines and more quickly deliver what the business needs. But don’t stop there. Go beyond identifying this group of decision-makers to also understanding whom they trust and rely on for advice and input.

Now consider how to best share your ideas. In other words, who would be the best messenger(s) for your ideas? To influence the outcome you want, it may not be you. Never forget how much the messenger matters.

Once you have thought through the dynamics and who can help you, frame your ideas to enlist the support of key stakeholders. What is important to you and to each of these individuals? What are the key points of connection, and how should you communicate those? Choose the right words to help others see your focus on what’s best for the business and not your own personal agenda.

Set Your Goals as an Influencer

Ready to use what you've learned to become more influential? It helps to set concrete goals. For example, how long would it take you to build the knowledge and track record needed to exert the influence you want to have? Whom do you need to engage along the way? To focus your efforts, define one or two small steps along with deadlines. Once you’ve completed those steps, define the next one or two. This will help you move forward without feeling overwhelmed.

As you work your game plan, remember that influence is not about manipulation. It is about helping your company achieve desired results, in a way that is authentic, genuine and relationship-oriented. You can find more strategies like these in my Leadership EDGE Series℠ booklet on Building Influence.

The Fine Art of Influence

Influence has so many implications, from getting your ideas heard to getting the support and resources you need to implement them. For some, the fine art of influence comes naturally, but for most it requires concerted effort.

Let’s start by taking a look at a common definition of influence:

Influence is the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others. (Source: dictionary.com)

Well, who wouldn’t want to be a compelling force that affects what others think or do?! You might be thinking that this sounds more like manipulating others to get what you want. However, what I’m referring to is learning how to develop win/win scenarios that allow you to get traction by being authentic, considering what is important to others, and doing what’s right for your company.

For example, I have a client who is trying to take the performance of her organization to the next level but keeps getting tangled in a web of politics. She needs help from another group to get the results she wants, but hasn’t been able to influence them to collaborate. Her focus is not self-serving. She truly has the organization’s best interest in mind.

So, we zeroed in on one critical relationship that could influence my client’s results dramatically. Below is a list of questions that I asked her in the context of influencing a specific person to take action. These questions may help you the next time you want to exert more influence.

What are you really trying to accomplish?

First, be clear about what you want and why. It will help you better understand and communicate your underlying intent. For example, you may want someone to invite you to a specific leadership team meeting. On the surface, it might seem to the other person that you just want to schmooze, but in reality you have and want to share key information with the group so that they can make better business decisions. Clarifying and sharing your intent will lead you to make the request in a way that will help the other person understand the “so what.”

How are you perceived by the other person?

Your credibility and reputation impacts whether the other person notices or really hears what you want. So, take time to reflect about what the other person thinks of you and how her “filter” might affect what she thinks of your request.

In my client’s case, the other person thinks of her as smart, direct, and focused on doing the right thing. However, they don’t know each other well, so my client may need to reinforce some of those attributes in her communication.

What is important to the other person?

Asking this question will help you zero in on what motivates the other person. It could range from looking good to his boss, to wanting to get promoted, to achieving a specific goal, to working less. If you don’t know the answer to this question, talk to others who might.

Where is the common ground for you both?

This final step brings it all together by combining your intent with what matters to the other person. People tend to be much more receptive if they view your request as aligned with their goals and objectives. Think about how you can frame your request or what you want in this context.

By taking even a couple of minutes to think through these questions, you can dramatically shift how you frame an idea or make a request — and your influence on the outcome. It can be the difference between sounding nitpicky and self- serving vs. sounding focused on something that matters to you and the other person involved, and that brings value to the organization. Give it a shot and see what happens.

Put More Power Into Your Communication Style

Women sometimes undermine their own power in how they communicate. I see this time and again with my coaching clients, and I have made some of these mistakes myself.

Women often don’t realize how their communication style gets in their way or impacts how others view their leadership. Although women may have good intentions, those may not be apparent in their communication. I think this quote drives the point home: “We judge ourselves by our intent, but we judge others by their actions.” So, remember that your actions may be doing you a disservice, no matter how positive your intentions.

Let’s take a look at three common communication traps to see if any of them apply to you.

1.  Getting into the weeds.

Women often make the mistake of building up to their conclusions, rather than starting with the two or three key headlines. They often don’t realize how this can diminish their credibility. By taking everyone through the details first, they run the risk of losing their audience in a sea of information, or giving the impression that they can’t see the big picture or get out of the weeds. Remember you can always provide additional information if others need it — so lead with the headlines.

2.  Holding back.

Have you ever been in a meeting and never said a word? Perhaps it’s because you agreed with what others said and you didn’t see a need to convey that. Or maybe you didn’t want to be rude and talk over someone to get your point across. Or perhaps you simply wanted to respect everyone else’s time and not prolong an already long meeting. Whatever your rationale, what did your participation (or lack thereof) convey to others? Did your presence really make a difference?

So next time, speak up! Before you walk into that meeting or jump on that conference call, take five minutes to anticipate what will be discussed and develop your point of view. This will make it easier to dive right in, contribute to the discussion, and get your voice heard.

3.  Treading too softly.

Women sometimes use a tone of voice or language that reduces their power and influence. Their voice may take on a higher pitch at the end of a sentence, giving the impression that they’re asking a question rather than making a statement with a strong sense of conviction. They may speak too quietly, or use words that communicate indecisiveness: “I think”; “I guess”; and so on.

So, pay attention to what you say and how you say it. To get a better sense of how your communication comes across, ask people you trust for feedback so you know what to watch for.

The good news is that you can address these issues through minor tweaks in your communication. Identify one small step you will take this week to put more power into your communication style. Remember that small steps can lead to big results.