What to Do When You Can’t Get a Response

You have a simple question. Or at least that's what you thought. But, for some reason, the colleague you are asking keeps saying they'll have to get back to you. Or perhaps they do respond to you, but their answer isn't relevant to what you need to know.

Image by Ernesto Eslava from Pixabay

When someone isn’t responsive to your questions, you might feel frustrated or even invisible. Getting the information you need while maintaining a good relationship with the other person takes both strong communication skills and emotional intelligence.

Clarify the Core Message

One reason the other person may not respond is that they may be getting lost in the details. Whether you're asking a question in conversation or via email, remember to present your "headlines” first. In other words, directly ask about what you want to know. Save the backstory and details. The other person will ask for more information if they need it.

Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Perhaps more than ever, many of us spend our days in a state of stress and distraction. When we're busy, our listening skills suffer. So even if you are clearly stating your question, the other person may not be processing what you are really saying. Consider your audience and tailor the approach accordingly.  What tends to work best? How can you make things easier?

Maybe They Just Don't Know

Some people are reluctant to say "I don't know" out of fear of coming across as incompetent or incapable.

Usually, the leaders I coach have already tried different strategies to make sure they are understood. But they often don't pick up that the other person is uncomfortable admitting they don't have an answer — especially if they themselves have no problem saying they don't know something.

Consider whether this might be going on in your situation. What does the evidence tell you about whether the other person actually has an answer to your question? Don't let their title or level distract you.

If you suspect they don't have an answer, you may have to help them figure one out in a way that spares their ego. For example, give them a couple of ideas to consider and get their reaction.

If you'd like to learn more strategies for leading confidently in any situation, check out my WOW! (Women on the Way to peak performance) Program℠. I've delivered WOW! at top corporations, and now it's available as a self-paced program that you can complete on your own, with a colleague or through your own informal learning circle.

How to Move Forward Amid Uncertainty

It all adds up: Election stress, pandemic stress, economic stress. Not to mention the regular stresses of our busy lives.

But no matter where we are emotionally right now, and no matter what lies ahead, we're all working to keep moving forward on the things that are important to us.

Your instinct might be to just keep pushing yourself. But that's not sustainable. Instead, I want to encourage you to take time today to think about where you are and to plot your path forward.

It's easy sometimes to overlook the first part of that process: checking in with yourself. But self-awareness, especially during times of change, is a crucial part of being a leader.

How Are You Right Now?

That's why I want you to pause to consider how you are doing at this moment. Where would you place yourself on a scale of 1 to 10?

A “10” means you consistently feel strong, optimistic or resilient. You developed strategies that have been working well for you this year. A “1” means you may feel depleted, drained or are struggling from week to week. You're at your lowest point of 2020. If neither of those extremes applies to you and how you feel vacillates, you may fall somewhere in the middle.

Remember that this exercise is less about the numerical rating and more about being honest with yourself and noticing what’s going on for you.

Next, think about what has helped you navigate all the uncertainty of 2020 so far. What has kept you going and gotten you through the most difficult times? Here are a few possible answers to help spark your thinking:

• I've felt my best this year when I've protected my time for exercising even when my schedule is hectic.

• I've discovered that writing down my feelings really helps me de-stress.

• Talking with friends, colleagues or mentors who lift my energy has helped me deal with the hardest parts of 2020.

What Do You Really Need?

Finally, pick one of those helpful habits or activities and think about how you can bring it to the forefront. This is important no matter what your emotional state and stress levels are right now. If you're feeling good, understanding why this is so will help you keep building on your momentum. If you're not doing so great, the best way to start turning things around is going back to the tools and strategies that have worked for you before.

Either way, make sure the step you focus on is easy to implement. It should involve an action you can take immediately to give yourself more of what you need. You can even share what you are doing with someone close to you so that they can hold you accountable.

As always, I want to remind you that small steps lead to big results. That's never felt more true. And I'm here to support you as you take those steps. Here are a few more resources that can help:

• Why pausing makes you more productive

• How to use passion to overcome fear

• When you are tired of being strong

• The best leaders ask for help

• All self-paced tools from Newberry Executive Solutions

What’s Your Impact?

Every day we engage with people from all walks of life in our professional and personal lives. Each interaction results in an exchange of energy, information, and ideas—positive and negative. Through the following three questions, I challenge you today to think about the impact you have on others.

What kind of energy are you giving off?

First, are you the kind of person who brings a conversation to a halt with your “healthy dose of realism” that others might call pessimism, or are you someone that people receive positive energy from? As you go through your day, notice how people respond to you by observing their body language, tone and actions. Recognize that some of their reactions may be more about them than you, but others may be directly related to what you are saying and doing. By paying attention more closely, you may notice some important patterns.

How do you impact results?

Next, ask yourself how the company or others benefit from your involvement or participation, whether you’re participating in a meeting or on a conference call. What do you typically contribute? Are you the person that “hangs back” or dives right in with your ideas? How much do you focus on moving things forward versus staying below the radar or just trying to wade through? Even if you’re “showing up” to participate, are you actually adding value?

What do others take from your behavior?

To bring the last point home, I want to share something from a meeting I was facilitating with an executive women’s group last week. We talked about how leaders are always in an “invisible spotlight.” In other words, people are constantly watching them, noticing what they are doing and drawing their own conclusions.

So, whether you realize it or not, you are sending indirect messages with everything you do. What are yours? Is it that you’re overwhelmed and need to be managed carefully or you might make life miserable for everyone? Or are you that unwavering leader that can provide direction and guidance consistently no matter what is going on? Recognize that small actions can add up to big messages when you put them all together.

Remember that you have an impact on everyone you interact with, but you do have a choice about what kind of impact you want have. So be intentional and purposeful about it and make sure that what you do reinforces your leadership brand and aligns with your values.

So, what one small step will you take this week to have the type of impact that’s important to you and your team?