Onboarding New Hires? Don’t Forget These 3 Key Things

For your new employees, the first days on the job are some of the most critical. As a leadership coach and creator of a leadership development platform, I've seen firsthand how crucial onboarding is in helping employees quickly become productive. Effective onboarding also pays off over the long run, with improvements in employee engagement and retention.

Photo by fauxels

Despite its importance, though, many companies are still falling short with their onboarding process. According to a Gallup analysis, "only 12% of U.S. employees say their company does a good job of onboarding" and "nearly one in five employees either report that their most recent onboarding was poor—or that they received no onboarding at all."

So why do onboarding programs so frequently miss the mark? Based on what I’ve observed, there are three key areas that onboarding frequently overlooks; addressing them can make a real difference in the success of your new hires.

1. Help new hires build connections, not just gain knowledge.

Beyond just imparting knowledge, onboarding should help new employees start building relationships with their team and throughout your organization. In today’s hybrid work environment, it's particularly crucial that onboarding includes relationship-building because it's less likely to happen spontaneously, the way it does when people are in the same office.

2. Have proactive conversations about goals and preferences.

Besides introducing new hires to different aspects of your company, onboarding can also be a time for you to learn about them. When I worked in leadership roles at Deloitte Consulting before starting my own business, I made a habit of sitting down with new team members so that each of us could talk about our goals and work styles. This conversation helped me achieve alignment between what they wanted to gain from their experience on the team and how I could leverage their strengths to advance business goals.

Learning about each other's preferences also helped us work together more smoothly and avoid misunderstandings. For example, we would establish what we'd communicate about via email and what needed to be discussed face to face.

3. Connect new hires with learning opportunities early.

Perhaps the biggest missed opportunity in onboarding is connecting new hires with training opportunities early, especially if they express interest in leadership training. Development is crucial for retention and engagement, and younger generations crave development opportunities. Don't wait until you see signs that they're a high performer or have high potential to consider them for leadership development. There's a lot of leadership potential at lower levels, and providing training helps strengthen your leadership pipeline, which is a big concern for many companies.

Investing early in new hires also signals your commitment to their success. And it can alleviate some of the pressure on managers, who are likely already too stretched to onboard their new hires effectively. Finally, going through a shared learning experience early on can help new hires form relationships that will give them much-needed support.

Final Thoughts

By focusing on these three often-overlooked aspects of onboarding—building connections, having proactive conversations about goals and preferences and connecting new hires with learning opportunities early—you can set your new employees up for success and create a more engaged, productive workforce.

This article originally appeared on Forbes.com. To read more of my contributions to Forbes Coaches Council, click here.

Why Leadership Development Programs Must Teach Networking

During Newberry Solutions’ webinar this month, Yana Melnikova at PepsiCo and I talked about the importance of opening up leadership development to more people, beyond high potentials and high performers. 

But it’s not just about who you include; it’s also about the foundational leadership skills that you help them learn. This raises a vital question: To transform potential into performance, what skills should your leadership development program teach?

Photo by fauxels

This question was top of mind for us as we developed our New Lens® learning platform. Based on years of experience working with top companies, we identified the biggest levers of high performance. In other words, these are the skills that we have consistently seen have the biggest impact on business results and increasing employee readiness for roles at the next level. One of those skills that often gets discussed but not ineffectively integrated into leadership development programs is building a powerful network.

Results and Relationships 

Too many people put networking on the back burner or think of it as something to squeeze in outside of their “real work.” In fact, I would wager that there are employees at your organization who are talented and hardworking, but who are not considered future leaders because they keep their heads down and believe their work should speak for itself.

Of course, results are important. But leadership isn’t just about individual competencies; it’s also the ability to get things done with and through others. Especially as an employee moves up the leadership ranks, their effectiveness depends on their relationships — with their direct reports, with their boss, with higher-level leaders, with their peers and with colleagues in other departments. That’s why a great leadership development program must set the stage for relationship building.

Ways to Encourage Networking

So how can a leadership development program help your employees build a network that will help them both drive results and advance their careers? Here are a few ideas:

• Teach networking strategies. Many people mistakenly believe that only extroverts can be good at networking. The reality, though, is that anyone can learn best practices that can help them get better at building relationships. For example, I always show my coaching clients how to identify the most critical relationships to success in their role, specific business goals or projects.

• Incorporate mentorship and sponsorship. Mentors can serve as role models for leadership development program participants, providing advice and perspective to help them develop their skills and navigate challenging situations. Sponsors, on the other hand, have clout and yield considerable influence on key decision-makers. Sponsors also give program participants critical exposure to opportunities and visibility to other influential leaders, and advocate on their behalf. While employees can establish these relationships on their own, mentorships and sponsorships are more effective when they’re part of a formal program.

• Utilize collaborative learning. One of the most overlooked but most impactful relationships are peer-to-peer. Integrate collaborative learning to foster employees sharing their knowledge and expertise, help each other navigate through challenging situations, and increase self-awareness.  Combining collaborative learning with high-quality content can even further accelerate results. We’ve already seen the power of this with New Lens, which takes the power of bite-sized lessons on foundational leadership skills and then enables deeper discussion and learning with a cohort. Not only does this accelerate learning; it strengthens workplace relationships that have become harder to build or maintain in this world of hybrid work.

How is your organization helping employees build the relationships they need for success? If you would like to learn more about how New Lens can help build networking skills (or critical leadership skills necessary for every level), check out a preview of sample content and schedule a demo.

Leaders, Are You Ready for 2024?

In my last article, we explored how your team performed in 2023 and what they might need to thrive in 2024. Today, I'd like to focus on you. These five thoughtful questions are designed to help you conclude this year on a positive note and set the stage for a successful 2024.

Photo by Rebrand Cities

1. What Can You Do for Yourself?

As the year winds down and we look toward 2024, consider what changes could simplify your life. If constant distractions and interruptions are a challenge, discussing ways to streamline communication with your team could be beneficial. Alternatively, if you find coaching your team challenging due to time constraints, our New Lens® app might offer the supplementary support you need.

2. Are You Getting the Support You Need?

In our fast-paced lives, it's easy to neglect our personal connections. These relationships, however, are crucial, especially during busy or stressful periods. Don't hesitate to reach out proactively for support. For instance, you might ask a partner to encourage you to start your day with a walk or run if they notice you're overworking and becoming irritable.

3. How Will You Balance Results and Relationships?

As high performers, it's common to focus intensely on results, sometimes at the expense of nurturing relationships. Remember, effective leadership is about achieving goals through and with others. To build stronger relationships in 2024, consider setting aside 15 minutes each week for relationship-building activities, such as sharing articles or making introductions.

4. How Much Did Your Behavior Reflect Your Intentions?

It's important to realize that others assess not only your accomplishments but also the experiences others have working with you. Your intentions are vital, but if they are not reflected in your interactions, they may fall short. Regular feedback from peers can be invaluable in ensuring your behavior aligns with your intentions.

5. What Team Issues Did You Play a Role in?

Every team faces challenges, such as conflict, low performance, or stress. To prevent these issues from spilling into 2024, it's helpful to reflect on your contribution to your team's dynamics. For example, I advised a leader who was inadvertently enabling a problematic dynamic by taking over urgent tasks. By helping her team reprioritize instead, she made a positive change.

What insights did you gain from these questions? Were there any surprises? As you continue to develop your leadership skills, consider exploring our range of products and services, including the innovative New Lens® app, designed to make leadership coaching more accessible.

Here’s to being intentional in shaping what your leadership journey looks like in 2024!

Tap into the Power of Gratitude

As Thanksgiving draws near, it's a wonderful time to pause and reflect on this year's journey. 

Sometimes in the rush toward our next objectives, we might overlook the importance of celebrating our successes. This season, I encourage us all to take a step back and appreciate important milestones and positive experiences.

Image by Deborah Hudson from Pixabay

Acknowledging and being thankful for what is going well in our lives isn't just a feel-good exercise; it's a powerful catalyst for continuous growth and success. In this spirit, at Newberry Solutions, we've taken a moment to pause and reflect. Here are some things we are particularly thankful for:

Our clients. Their passion for and dedication to leadership development inspires us daily. We deeply value their trust and partnership — and their feedback, which led to us being recognized as an Inc. Power Partner this year.

Our support network. The people who have consistently supported us over the years have been the key to this company’s 15 years of success. We’re so fortunate to have them in our corner as a constant source of inspiration.

Our community. We're grateful that this year has brought us many opportunities to join with others through nonprofit organizations and other initiatives to make a real difference in the community in which we live and work.

Our platform. We have made great strides in our commitment to democratizing access to leadership development:

• Our New Lens® app has been implemented at several large enterprises with fantastic results this year, making leadership development more affordable and scalable

• Our recent Micro Summit: 4 Core Strategies for Success delivered insights from four phenomenal business and HR leaders.

• We’re sharing leadership strategies to an even wider audience through our articles in Forbes and Fast Company and speaking engagements for our clients and at events for D CEO, Ascend North Texas and AICPA & CIMA, among others.

Time and space. Personally, I am so thankful for the moments that have allowed me to recharge and reconnect with what truly matters. That has included hiking in Sedona and Whistler, adventures in Turks & Caicos, and celebrating several college admissions with my son.

As Thanksgiving approaches, I invite you to join me in reflecting. 

• What are you grateful for right now, personally and professionally?  

• What experiences have enriched your year, even if they were challenging ones? 

• Who do you want to express gratitude to as Thanksgiving approaches?

At Newberry Solutions, we're committed to your success through New Lens and other resources, and always in your corner cheering you on. Let's embrace this season of thanksgiving with a heart full of appreciation and commitment to make a positive impact.

12 Key Takeaways from the New Lens Micro Summit

What an amazing event we had last week! Of course, that's thanks to our wonderful speakers and to all of you, our engaged New Lens® Micro Summit: 4 Core Strategies for Success attendees. I’m still soaking in all the insights that were shared and am so grateful to each of you who joined us.

Reflecting on the summit, it's clear that each speaker brought a unique perspective, shedding light on critical areas of leadership, teamwork, networking, and resilience. I've taken a moment to recap a few of the takeaways that stood out to me. Whether you attended the summit or are catching up now, I believe these insights will resonate and offer actionable strategies for your own leadership journey. Let's dive in.

Michol Ecklund

Michol, Chief Sustainability Officer and General Counsel at Callon Petroleum, has navigated change throughout her career. So who better to speak on the topic “Focus on the Right Work: The Great Resignation Compounded Workloads”?

In her comments, Michol highlighted the emerging challenges post-pandemic where workers are increasingly unhappy, burnt out, and seeking new job opportunities, often attributed to amplified workloads from organizational restructuring. Here are some highlight from the advice she shared:

• Create space to connect in a genuine way. Remember, everyone has a life outside work. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable with your team. “By checking in with others and sharing more about your own situation, I think you ultimately build deeper relationships,” Michol said. “You build even more motivated employees and even more committed employees that want to be part of your organization.”  

• Balance your personal productivity with that of the team. You may be more productive working from home, but your team may be more productive if everyone spends more time at the office. Find an approach that considers both sets of needs.

• Get back to the basics to avoid burnout. Getting enough sleep is critical. It affects how you show up personally and professionally, your energy, and your ability to be productive.

Mark Benton

Mark, Vice President of HR Corporate Functions at McKesson, also talked about navigating the shift to hybrid work when tackling his topic, “Develop a High Performing Team: How Unprepared Leaders Impact the Workplace.” I so admire Mark's ability to surface important topics that need attention. 

One theme that stood out was the challenge of staying connected when working remotely. In this context, building trust and understanding your own strengths and weaknesses are vital for good leadership. Other highlights:

• Empathy is more important than ever in the world of hybrid work. Your team members want to know that you care about them as people, that you recognize what they are contributing and that you are willing to help them.

• Managers today have to help distributed teams stay connected. One way to do this: be very intentional about checking in with each other.

• Be more of an "ask person" than a "tell person". You can help your team members grow by asking coaching questions.

Hilda Galvan

Hilda, Partner-in-Charge at Jones Day Dallas, spoke on the topic “Build a Powerful Network: How Remote Work Affects Relationships & Productivity.” Hilda is gifted at cultivating relationships both professionally and in her community involvement, so I was thrilled that she could share her advice with us. 

She advised leaders not to favor in-office workers over remote ones and to communicate clearly. Building relationships, even when remote, is key to good leadership. A few key takeaways:

• To get people back to the office, talk about why it’s so important. For example, remind veteran team members how much they learned by being around colleagues who were senior to them. Today, they can do the same thing for younger employees. By broadening their perspective,

• Engaging with issues you care about will energize you and can help counteract any feelings of loneliness from remote work. Connecting with others who share your passion can also lead to meaningful relationships.

• Treat small pockets of time in your day as opportunities to maintain relationships. For example, call an old friend while you’re driving to a meeting across town.

Tina Bigalke

As Global Chief Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Officer at PepsiCo and someone with a wealth of leadership experience in business and HR, Tina was the perfect speaker to talk about the topic “Build Leadership Courage & Resilience: Strategies to Navigate Uncertainty”. 

She also gave us insight into how PepsiCo has been a training ground for so many Fortune 500 CEOs and shared PepsiCo’s holistic resilence model which has helped its staff navigate these challenging times.

Some key insights:

• Identify the capabilities and skills your organization will need for the future (not just for today) and assess your employees against those skills.

• Don’t be afraid to have honest conversations with employees about how they’re doing and their path forward in your organization. 

• Have a variety of development tools in place for employees, especially younger ones, who truly want to gain new skills.

More Micro Learning

A huge thanks to Michol, Mark, Hilda and Tina for packing so much valuable information into just a couple of hours. It was so important to us that this event fit into busy schedules and deliver a powerful payoff for just a short investment of time. That’s the same philosophy that drives Newberry Solutions’ award-winning New Lens® app. With “snack size” lessons combined with collaborative learning, New Lens makes leadership development affordable and scalable. I invite you to learn more and schedule a demo for your organization.

What Leadership Skills Should Training Address?

As you continue to navigate a lean work environment full of change, are you looking ahead to next year to see how to develop your team’s leadership skills? Choosing a leadership training solution can feel like “one more thing” to tackle, so I’m sharing a series of articles to help make the process a little easier.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

In the first article, I shared some questions you can use to uncover what your team needs from leadership development training. This week, I’ll focus on helping you clarify the outcomes for your training solution. Remember, the program you choose doesn’t have to solve everything that’s going on with your team, but it should address your top two or three concerns. Below are common leadership challenges we hear about. Which ones affect your team?

Reducing Stress

I don’t have to tell you that everyone is busier than ever these days. Perhaps your team, like many others, is stretched thin because of staffing cuts or hiring freezes. According to findings of the Future Forum Pulse survey released in October, burnout is still on the rise, and 43% of professionals feel burned out. As a coach and facilitator who specializes in working with high-performing women, I was especially struck that the survey found 32% more burnout among women compared with men.

To be effective, leadership development solutions must address stress and burnout. Reducing your team’s stress burden will make it easier for all of you to deal with any other ongoing issues.

Prioritizing the Right Work

In a survey by Paychex Inc., 43% of respondents said a lack of time management skills is holding back their career advancement. As we navigate through uncertainty and change with lean teams, it’s no wonder that time management is difficult for many professionals.

To quickly gauge whether your team uses time effectively, ask yourself whether each member spends most of their time on their “Big 3”: the top three areas where they can have the biggest impact on the business. If not, aligning their capacity with what drives results should be a focal point in your leadership training program.

Improving Communication

Surveys consistently reinforce the importance of their employees’ communication skills, and leaders themselves say it is one of the most important leadership competencies. 

But, for many teams, the rise of remote work has introduced new communication challenges. Issues range from miscommunication over email and chat to overcommunication by managers who keep tight reins on remote workers to not knowing how to manage the volume of communication. The leadership training solution you select should reflect the new realities of workplace communication.

Developing Stronger Relationships

Closely related to communication is the ability to nurture productive relationships at work. Even before the pandemic, many high performers fell into the trap of keeping their heads down to focus on results at the expense of relationships.

Today, we have to be even more deliberate about relationship building. Research shows that employees find it harder to form a sense of connection with their colleagues in a hybrid workplace. And that impacts everything from collaboration to employee well-being. An effective leadership training solution should guide employees in how to build relationships with remote employees. If a training program involves peer learning or affinity groups, that in itself can strengthen relationships.

Engaging and Retaining Employees

One of the most important outcomes of a leadership development program isn’t necessarily part of the curriculum. Simply offering training and development is a big step toward keeping your employees engaged and retaining them at your company. In a 2019 survey, 94% of employees said they would stay at their company longer if it invested in helping them learn. A study that year by Sitel Group found that 92% of U.S. employees said that learning increases their engagement and motivation at work. 

What’s Ahead in This Series

As you consider the outcomes I’ve mentioned today, what is most important for your organization? With this in hand, you’ll be one step closer to selecting the leadership development solution that’s right for your team. In the final article of this series, I’ll talk about what effective leadership training looks like. In the meantime, I invite you to explore one of our newest leadership development solutions, the award-winning app New Lens. New Lens is designed to teach your team members how to manage their capacity, focus on the right work, communicate with impact - in a way that fosters connection and fits into their busy schedules. We would love to see if it can help you. Schedule your demo now.

Newberry Solutions in Forbes

If you follow me on LinkedIn, you know that I’ve become a regular contributor to Forbes through the Forbes Coaches Council. I love being part of this because it allows Newberry Solutions to have a bigger impact by sharing our proven strategies on a broader platform. 

Today I want to share the recent advice and insights that I and other coaches have shared. If any of these articles leave you wanting to learn more, you’ll also find links to additional resources from this blog.

Shift to a Positive Mindset

In the article “15 Hacks For Pessimists To Switch To A More Positive Point Of View,” I talked about how to notice your thoughts and feelings to recognize and combat your negative self-talk.

Learn more: “How to Stop the Loop of Negative Self-Talk.”

Cope with Change

We’ve all had to become more adaptable over the past few years. In the article “14 Coaches Explore What It Looks Like To Become An ‘Agile’ Leader, “ I stressed the importance of staying centered amid change.

Learn more: “5 Sure-Fire Ways to Get Centered Fast.”

Practice Empathy

Success is about relationships, and that includes relationships with customers or clients. So the topic “16 Ways To Treat Customers Like Humans Instead Of Numbers” is an important one.

Learn more: “Are You Being Strategic About Relationships?”

Network Effectively

What’s the best way to introduce yourself at your next networking event? I explain in the article  “14 Steps To Take A Networking Pitch To The Next Level.”

Learn More: “Networking for Results.”

Avoid DEI Mistakes

“11 Potentially Brand-Damaging Mistakes Corporations Make With DEI Initiatives” is a timely topic as more organizations put a stronger emphasis on diversity, equity and inclusion. As I point out in this article, commitments and allocation of resources must be aligned.

Learn more: “5 Eye-Opening Findings on Women at Work.”

Support Mental Health for All

Along with DEI, companies are also increasing attention on employee well-being. As the article  “How C-Level Leaders Can Address The Mental Health Needs Of Underserved Demographics” points out, this requires more than a one-size-fits-all approach. Different cultures in the workplace have different attitudes about seeking help with mental health.

Learn more: “What is Silencing? (And Why Your Company Must Care About It).”

Speak Up

Introverts have so much value to add to the workplace. The tips from me and other coaches in the article “How More Reserved Employees Can Make Their Voices Heard” will help you bring that value in a way that works for you.

Learn more: “Are You Keeping Your Gold Mine of Ideas to Yourself?”

Talk Face to Face

There’s a lot to navigate in this new world of hybrid work, including the best forms of communication in different situations. The article “14 Examples Where In-Person Communication Is Better Than Virtual At Work” is a guide that all leaders can use.

Learn more: “How to Deliver Tough Messages.”

Protect Your Capacity

Saying “yes” to everything has a cost. If you tend to keep your plate too full, check out the article “16 Ways Professionals Can Avoid Overcommitting Themselves At Work.”

Learn more: “4 Ways to Keep Your Busy Life from Taking Over.”

Keep this roundup as a valuable resource for you, and share it with others. If these Forbes Coaches Council articles have you curious about what coaching can do for you or your organization, I invite you to explore our products and services, including the New Lens app. New Lens can help you bring the power of coaching to more employees, even when budgets and schedules are tight. Set up a demo now.

Tap Into the Power of Gratitude

With packed schedules at work and at home, it’s easy to lose sight of the whole point of this season of gratitude. Thinking about the things you are thankful for might even feel like just one more thing you’re supposed to do — not that you want to do.

Image by hudsoncrafted from Pixabay

However, expressing gratitude and appreciation has some pretty powerful benefits, both for others and ourselves:

• Feeling stressed? Even just thinking about the people you are grateful for can help.

• Gratitude can short-circuit negative emotions like envy, resentment and regret. 

• Positive psychology researcher Martin Seligman found that when people shared letters of gratitude with someone they had never properly thanked for their kindness, they immediately became happier — and stayed happier for the next month!

Whether your year so far has been awesome, so-so or difficult, think about who has helped you get through it all. Who are the people who brought that positive energy and helped you be more resilient? And who supported you through the toughest moments?

Your list might include the boss who always thinks about opportunities for you even when they have a lot on their plate. Or you may feel grateful for team members who have really stepped up this year or peers who have helped you juggle work and life. And then there are the family members and friends who have cheered you on toward your goals or shared wisdom and advice. You can even feel grateful for the people who push your buttons – like a micromanaging boss or a gossipy colleague. After all, these people are showing you a lot about who you don’t want to be and surfacing your core values.

In my own life, I am grateful this year for: 

• My amazing team who constantly backs me up, especially when I went through my cancer treatment. 

• The executives that I coach who had the courage to show vulnerability as we partnered to navigate through major challenges in the current environment.  

• The opportunity to partner with other executives in the community to lift others up, raise money for those in need, and drive social change. It reminds me how much difference a single person or idea can make.

How about you? Who is on your personal gratitude list as Thanksgiving gets closer? And how will you express your appreciation?

4 Ways to Take Responsibility for Your Energy

Recently, I shared a photo on LinkedIn that struck a chord with thousands of people. The photo shows a sign posted at an Indiana University Health facility which reads:

Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.

Your words matter. Your behaviors matter. Our patients and our teams matter.

Take a slow, deep breath and make sure your energy is in check before entering.

Thank you.

I wonder if those words resonated with so many people because we all know what it’s like to be affected by someone else’s energy — for better or for worse.

As leaders, we have to watch the energy we project. We don’t have to be perfect but do have to remember that we’re always in the “invisible spotlight” and that our behavior and presence sets the tone for others. 

So how can you take ownership for the energy you bring as a leader — even when things get crazy and stressful? Here are a few strategies that consistently work for my executive coaching clients.

1. Take Care of Yourself

You can’t bring positive energy if you’ve depleted your own tank. Are you getting enough sleep, breaks, exercise or healthy food? Too many of us fall into the trap of thinking, “How can I possibly take time for ME right now when there’s so much to do?” But experience and research show that self-care will boost your productivity and help you better support others. Taking care of yourself is not “nice to have” but rather a critical leadership strategy that affects how you show up.

2. Notice Your Energy Patterns

To maximize your energy, plan your activities with your personal energy patterns in mind. For example, if you typically feel more energetic in the morning, complete your most challenging or creative work then. Don’t save it for when your energy is already drained. And don’t schedule most of your draining work activities on one day. Your body will always give you clues about when it’s time to walk away (such as headaches, back pain, fatigue, and the inability to focus) and give yourself a break.

3. Build Your Executive Presence

Think about all the times when someone else’s energy affected you. Their energy probably had less to do with what they said and more to do with how they said it – perhaps with an edge to their tone, impatience, or frustration. Before you dial into your next call or log into your next videoconference, ask yourself, “How do I want to show up? What energy do I want to bring?” By simply pausing to do this, it will affect your executive presence including your tone, body language, and energy.

4. Boost Your Confidence

Your confidence level significantly impacts how you show up with others. Sometimes, all it takes to give yourself a confidence boost is setting aside a little more time – even 15 minutes – to prepare more fully. Go beyond the subject matter to think through the audience, their potential questions and resistance, and your own presence. And remember that taking even 5 minutes a week to jot down a few of your accomplishments and the value they created for your organization, will build your confidence over time.

Your energy as a leader has a ripple effect on other people. I want to challenge you to identify one strategy that you will use to keep your energy in check this week. To take a deeper dive into the topics explored here — including self-care, boosting your energy, developing your executive presence, and building confidence — take a look at our tools and resources ranging from the New Lens® app to books and audio training to executive coaching.  You’ll find solutions that fit both your needs and your busy schedule.

What to Do When You Can’t Get a Response

You have a simple question. Or at least that's what you thought. But, for some reason, the colleague you are asking keeps saying they'll have to get back to you. Or perhaps they do respond to you, but their answer isn't relevant to what you need to know.

Image by Ernesto Eslava from Pixabay

When someone isn’t responsive to your questions, you might feel frustrated or even invisible. Getting the information you need while maintaining a good relationship with the other person takes both strong communication skills and emotional intelligence.

Clarify the Core Message

One reason the other person may not respond is that they may be getting lost in the details. Whether you're asking a question in conversation or via email, remember to present your "headlines” first. In other words, directly ask about what you want to know. Save the backstory and details. The other person will ask for more information if they need it.

Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Perhaps more than ever, many of us spend our days in a state of stress and distraction. When we're busy, our listening skills suffer. So even if you are clearly stating your question, the other person may not be processing what you are really saying. Consider your audience and tailor the approach accordingly.  What tends to work best? How can you make things easier?

Maybe They Just Don't Know

Some people are reluctant to say "I don't know" out of fear of coming across as incompetent or incapable.

Usually, the leaders I coach have already tried different strategies to make sure they are understood. But they often don't pick up that the other person is uncomfortable admitting they don't have an answer — especially if they themselves have no problem saying they don't know something.

Consider whether this might be going on in your situation. What does the evidence tell you about whether the other person actually has an answer to your question? Don't let their title or level distract you.

If you suspect they don't have an answer, you may have to help them figure one out in a way that spares their ego. For example, give them a couple of ideas to consider and get their reaction.

If you'd like to learn more strategies for leading confidently in any situation, check out my WOW! (Women on the Way to peak performance) Program℠. I've delivered WOW! at top corporations, and now it's available as a self-paced program that you can complete on your own, with a colleague or through your own informal learning circle.

Grateful to Others? Let Them Know!

In this challenging year, it may be hard to remember the last time it didn't feel like your plate was full. When we're so busy, it's easy to overlook even important things — like the people who are making a difference in our lives.

As we get close to Thanksgiving, take a moment to reflect on the times this year when you've been elevated by the support and kindness of others.

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

Maybe this makes you think about the friend or former colleague who always seems to know when you need a cheerful call or text message. Or the boss who still finds the time to listen even though you know her schedule has gotten busier. Or your family members who have kept a good attitude despite changes in your routines.

Just by thinking about the people you are grateful for, you'll feel less stress. And who couldn't use that right now? But don't stop there. Let these people know how they've made your life better and how much you appreciate them. Your expression of gratitude will lift their spirits. And, again, you'll benefit, too. Positive psychology researcher Martin Seligman found that when people shared letters of gratitude with someone they had never properly thanked for their kindness, they immediately became happier — and stayed happier for the next month!

In my own life, I want to thank my sister, brother, aunt and cousins who have really gone the extra mile for me this year. Who is on your personal gratitude list? And how will you let them know about the important difference they have made for you?

Do You Have Strong Peer Relationships?

The importance of peer relationships keeps emerging as a theme with my clients. Strong leaders recognize that their leadership must extend beyond managing up and down; they must also manage effectively across the organization. Although it may not be on your radar screen, peers play an important role in providing perspective on your performance, no matter how far removed they may be from your do day-to-day activities.

Even if you don’t need much of your peers’ involvement to achieve your business results, most companies expect you to care about and invest in their success. An investment in your peers demonstrates your willingness to go beyond what matters in your microcosm of the world, to think about how you can make a difference in other parts of the company.

Ask yourself the following questions to quickly assess your peer relationships:

1. How well do you know your peers?

Using a scale of 1-10 (with 10 the highest), rate the strength of your relationship with each peer. Do you know what challenges your peers face, pressures they feel, or what goals are most critical to them? Based on this information and the strength of your relationship, with whom should you invest more time?

2. What do your peers think of you?

Do your peers view you as someone who is willing to give them support? To quickly assess this, think about how much time you spend listening, problem- solving, or brainstorming with your peers and the degree to which you think beyond your scope of responsibility.

3. What value can you offer to your peers?

As you consider your strengths, background, and experience, how can you leverage them for your peers? What can you offer in the context of what matters to them? If you don’t know enough about their priorities, find out.

As you contemplate your responses to the questions above, identify one peer relationship that you would like to strengthen in the next six months. Come up with a small step you will take this week to get the ball rolling, and remember that small steps can lead to big results

© 2013 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.

Are You Being Strategic About Relationships?

I get asked all the time about how to build a strong network of advocates. Advocates are people with power and influence who can give you important exposure, shield you from negative consequences and criticism, and recommend you for new positions or visible assignments.

If you aren’t paying attention to building these relationships, here are three steps to help you be more strategic about your approach:

1. With whom do you want to cultivate relationships?

In the context of your professional goals, identify the top three people with whom you need to develop stronger relationships. They may be people you don’t know at all or individuals who have had some exposure to you. Often they can be people who already have a positive impression of you, but you haven’t asked them to take any action on your behalf in the past. Be specific about what you would want them to do on your behalf and make it easy for them to do so. Come prepared with the right information.

2. What would success look like for your next conversation with them?

What would you want to have as the outcome of that conversation? How do you want to “show up”? In other words, think about any aspects of your brand that you’d want to focus on or what you would want them to know about you. Think about not only your key strengths, but also experiences and results. For example, if you want to come across as competent, you can do that through the quality and caliber of the questions you ask in addition to the types of examples you share about the work you’ve done. Figure out what approach works best for you.

3. What can you offer them?

Offer them something of value. For example, you might be able to share articles or other resources relevant to their interests or specific challenges they’re facing. You may have contacts with similar interests who might be beneficial for them to know. You may be able to give them exposure by inviting them to speak or be on a panel in a professional association that you participate in. Or you may be able to invite them to an event that would be of interest to them.

One of the most important things to remember is to be consistent. Allocate time to cultivate these relationships each month. It doesn’t have to be time-consuming. The key is to stay top of mind so that when opportunities do arise they will think of you. So, what step will you take this week to put this into play? Remember that small steps can lead to big results.

© 2012 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.