Grateful to Others? Let Them Know!

In this challenging year, it may be hard to remember the last time it didn't feel like your plate was full. When we're so busy, it's easy to overlook even important things — like the people who are making a difference in our lives.

As we get close to Thanksgiving, take a moment to reflect on the times this year when you've been elevated by the support and kindness of others.

Thankful Fall decoration

Maybe this makes you think about the friend or former colleague who always seems to know when you need a cheerful call or text message. Or the boss who still finds the time to listen even though you know her schedule has gotten busier. Or your family members who have kept a good attitude despite changes in your routines.

Just by thinking about the people you are grateful for, you'll feel less stress. And who couldn't use that right now? But don't stop there. Let these people know how they've made your life better and how much you appreciate them. Your expression of gratitude will lift their spirits. And, again, you'll benefit, too. Positive psychology researcher Martin Seligman found that when people shared letters of gratitude with someone they had never properly thanked for their kindness, they immediately became happier — and stayed happier for the next month!

In my own life, I want to thank my sister, brother, aunt and cousins who have really gone the extra mile for me this year. Who is on your personal gratitude list? And how will you let them know about the important difference they have made for you?

How to Move Forward Amid Uncertainty

It all adds up: Election stress, pandemic stress, economic stress. Not to mention the regular stresses of our busy lives.

But no matter where we are emotionally right now, and no matter what lies ahead, we're all working to keep moving forward on the things that are important to us.

Directional arrows on blacktop pair of shoes on edge

Your instinct might be to just keep pushing yourself. But that's not sustainable. Instead, I want to encourage you to take time today to think about where you are and to plot your path forward.

It's easy sometimes to overlook the first part of that process: checking in with yourself. But self-awareness, especially during times of change, is a crucial part of being a leader.

How Are You Right Now?

That's why I want you to pause to consider how you are doing at this moment. Where would you place yourself on a scale of 1 to 10?

A “10” means you consistently feel strong, optimistic or resilient. You developed strategies that have been working well for you this year. A “1” means you may feel depleted, drained or are struggling from week to week. You're at your lowest point of 2020. If neither of those extremes applies to you and how you feel vacillates, you may fall somewhere in the middle.

Remember that this exercise is less about the numerical rating and more about being honest with yourself and noticing what’s going on for you.

Next, think about what has helped you navigate all the uncertainty of 2020 so far. What has kept you going and gotten you through the most difficult times? Here are a few possible answers to help spark your thinking:

  • I've felt my best this year when I've protected my time for exercising even when my schedule is hectic.

  • I've discovered that writing down my feelings really helps me de-stress.

  • Talking with friends, colleagues or mentors who lift my energy has helped me deal with the hardest parts of 2020.

What Do You Really Need?

Finally, pick one of those helpful habits or activities and think about how you can bring it to the forefront. This is important no matter what your emotional state and stress levels are right now. If you're feeling good, understanding why this is so will help you keep building on your momentum. If you're not doing so great, the best way to start turning things around is going back to the tools and strategies that have worked for you before.

Either way, make sure the step you focus on is easy to implement. It should involve an action you can take immediately to give yourself more of what you need. You can even share what you are doing with someone close to you so that they can hold you accountable.

As always, I want to remind you that small steps lead to big results. That's never felt more true. And I'm here to support you as you take those steps. Here are a few more resources that can help: