What to Do When You Can’t Get a Response

You have a simple question. Or at least that's what you thought. But, for some reason, the colleague you are asking keeps saying they'll have to get back to you. Or perhaps they do respond to you, but their answer isn't relevant to what you need to know.

Image by Ernesto Eslava from Pixabay

When someone isn’t responsive to your questions, you might feel frustrated or even invisible. Getting the information you need while maintaining a good relationship with the other person takes both strong communication skills and emotional intelligence.

Clarify the Core Message

One reason the other person may not respond is that they may be getting lost in the details. Whether you're asking a question in conversation or via email, remember to present your "headlines” first. In other words, directly ask about what you want to know. Save the backstory and details. The other person will ask for more information if they need it.

Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Perhaps more than ever, many of us spend our days in a state of stress and distraction. When we're busy, our listening skills suffer. So even if you are clearly stating your question, the other person may not be processing what you are really saying. Consider your audience and tailor the approach accordingly.  What tends to work best? How can you make things easier?

Maybe They Just Don't Know

Some people are reluctant to say "I don't know" out of fear of coming across as incompetent or incapable.

Usually, the leaders I coach have already tried different strategies to make sure they are understood. But they often don't pick up that the other person is uncomfortable admitting they don't have an answer — especially if they themselves have no problem saying they don't know something.

Consider whether this might be going on in your situation. What does the evidence tell you about whether the other person actually has an answer to your question? Don't let their title or level distract you.

If you suspect they don't have an answer, you may have to help them figure one out in a way that spares their ego. For example, give them a couple of ideas to consider and get their reaction.

If you'd like to learn more strategies for leading confidently in any situation, check out my WOW! (Women on the Way to peak performance) Program℠. I've delivered WOW! at top corporations, and now it's available as a self-paced program that you can complete on your own, with a colleague or through your own informal learning circle.

One Overlooked Behavior That Can Destroy Your Brand

A positive leadership brand takes time to build, but it can also be quickly destroyed. Today, I want to share one of the ways that I see people at all leadership levels erode their brand every day. 

Picture this scenario. You’re busy, life is moving at a fast pace, and your days are full of meetings. You get an email. Before you know it, it isn’t even visible on your screen because so many other emails have come in. The message requires a response, but for you it’s already out of sight and out of mind. A week or two goes by and the sender reluctantly forwards it to you again. And the same thing happens.

I understand that you’ve got a lot on your plate. But, in your flurry of activity, how often do you stop to consider the impact of your lack of responsiveness — in particular, the impact on your personal brand? 

If roles were reversed, what would go through your head if you didn’t get a response to your email? Initially, you may make excuses for the unresponsive person, such as that he or she:

• Didn’t see your message or forgot to reply. We all get too much email every day. It was just an oversight.

• Is really busy. It must be a hectic week.

• Is out of the office traveling or on vacation and forgot to put an out-of-office message in place.

But, over time, you may draw some big negative conclusions about the person, even if you initially had a more positive impression. 

You might assume that he or she is:

• Disrespectful of your time. You don’t have time to keep following up on this. 

• Disorganized and doesn’t know how to prioritize or keep track of things.

• Overwhelmed and unable to manage time effectively. 

• Not someone you can count on. Responsiveness and follow-through are such foundational expectations.

• Definitely not ready for more responsibility. If something this small takes so long, what would happen on the bigger, more important stuff?

You may not agree with these conclusions, and some of them may feel unfair. But these are very real possibilities depending on how long you have behaved this way. Although you may have perfectly valid reasons for taking so long to respond, at some point the other person just won’t care why.    

Lack of responsiveness and follow-through are simply not what you want to be known for. 

If you struggle with these behaviors, start by identifying one small step that you can take to get on top of them. Remember that a little bit of structure can go a long way. That could mean taking 15 minutes to prioritize each day, organizing email into folders (high, medium, low priority) as you get them, checking email at intervals and adding reminder flags to them, delegating to others who can respond or take action on your behalf, or getting some non-essential activities off your plate. Whatever it is, just get started and hold onto that positive brand that you have worked so hard to build.