unwritten rules

Why Smart Leaders Still Struggle in New Roles — and What Actually Helps

Think back to the last time you put someone into a new role. Maybe you hired from the outside—sorting through resumes, sitting in interviews, talking yourself through the trade-offs. Maybe you promoted someone you already trusted, or moved a strong performer into a part of the business that needed them. Either way, you put real care into matching the right person to the right role, and you hoped they’d find their footing quickly and become everything you believed they could be.

Image by Bebe109 from Pixabay

We pour enormous care into choosing the right people. Then, too often, that care stops the day they step into the role. According to Gallup, only 12% of employees say their company does a good job of onboarding, and nearly one in five say their last onboarding was poor—or that they got none at all.

In nearly two decades of coaching leaders, I’ve seen what that gap costs. We’re often brought in months later, once a talented person has started to struggle—they can’t quite read a new team or culture, they’re missing the unwritten rules, or they’re bumping into dynamics no one warned them about.

This holds whether someone is brand-new to the company, new to a particular business unit, or stepping up into a bigger role they’ve earned inside it. In fact, it’s often the people already in the building whose transition we underestimate. We assume that because they know the organization, they’ll find their way on their own.

The encouraging news? A few simple, proven strategies can make any of these transitions dramatically smoother, and they don’t require a big HR team or budget.

1. Build relationships to accelerate success

Remember when you were “the new person”? You were probably handed a binder full of policies—and yet the things you most needed to know weren’t in it. Who do you actually go to when you need a quick answer? How do decisions really get made here? What are the unwritten rules about speaking up in meetings?

I coach my clients to invest in results and relationships. That’s because I’ve seen too many talented people underestimate the importance of consistently investing in relationships.

To make relationship-building a deliberate part of every transition, pair anyone stepping into a new role with a mentor who can decode the unwritten rules, and, when you can, a sponsor with the influence to open doors. I’ve also seen organizations bring people who are starting new roles together as a cohort, so they learn alongside peers and build a support network from their very first week.

2. Have a real conversation about goals — early

At the start of a new role, you have a unique opportunity to learn about the person while they’re still learning about you. When I led teams at Deloitte, I would sit down with each new team member to discuss what they wanted from their role and what would help them do their best work. We’d even structure the small things—what we’d handle by email and what would warrant a conversation.

These small steps made us effective from the first week, helped them feel seen, and prevented so many small misunderstandings. According to Gallup, fewer than four in 10 employees believe that someone at work cares about them as a person. This is one reason why employee engagement is so low.

3. Don’t shortchange your most senior people

This is one mistake I see even the most savvy organizations make. The more senior the person, and the more familiar they already are with the company, the more we assume they’ll simply make a smooth transition into a new role, and the less support they get. Yet experienced people are often the hardest to integrate, whether they’re joining from outside or stepping into a bigger role from within, and the cost of a misstep is high. By the time someone calls me to coach a struggling executive in a new role, that leader is usually already working to win back the credibility they quickly lost in their first few months.

You can prevent much of this. When a senior person takes on a new role, help them develop a deliberate plan for their first few months and give them an executive coach to help them navigate the culture. It is far easier, and far less expensive, to set someone up to succeed than to help them recover.

4. Open up development before people ‘earn’ it

With leadership pipelines running dry, we can’t afford to wait until someone has proven they’re “high potential” before investing in their growth. That holds back the very people we’re counting on. Signaling early that you believe in someone builds loyalty and fuels engagement, and it matters as much for a proven employee taking on more as it does for someone brand-new.

Give people the start you’d want

You did the hard part. You got the right person into the right role. The work now is to help them do their best once they’re in it. You don’t need a large learning-and-development function to make that happen. Our New Lens® platform gives lean teams an affordable, easy way to offer Fortune 500-caliber development. And if you’d like a partner who has helped leaders and companies through transitions for nearly two decades, across recessions, a pandemic and no shortage of disruption and change, get in touch to learn how else we can support you and your team.


Don’t wait for performance to drop before taking action. Discover how the New Lens® platform helps organizations support managers with bite-sized, actionable learning—built for today’s fast-paced, high-stress environments.

Learning the Unwritten Rules

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At a conference, I heard a senior director from Catalyst (a leading organization focused on advancing women) speak about Unwritten Rules: What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You. Like the presenter, I wish I could say that doing a good job is enough. It simply isn’t. Although performance matters, understanding and playing by the unwritten rules can have a huge impact on your career advancement.

I want to share three of the strategies or “learning approaches” that Catalyst found in its research to help discover the unwritten rules. The research also reveals the effectiveness of each strategy in career advancement and breaks down the data by gender.

1. Observation

This approach involves taking time to really understand how things work by paying attention to what other successful employees do, how they behave, and who gets promoted. Almost 90 percent of survey respondents said they had learned through observation, and 49 percent would recommend this approach.

Most of us have a lot going on day-to-day, so this strategy may not get the attention it deserves. Take a minute right now to ask yourself how often you take time to simply notice what is going on around you and Connect the Dots. As organizations go through changes, and leaders move up or out, taking time to do this periodically may give you some important insight.

2. Mentoring and Feedback

The second key learning approach centers on regularly seeking guidance and input from others about what it takes to succeed, staying in tune with your own behavior and performance, and using the information to understand what matters most in the organization. Eighty percent said they used this approach, and 32 percent would recommend it to others.

Remember that engaging others in giving you guidance and feedback can also go a long way in creating sponsors, people who have a vested interest in your success and will advocate on your behalf.

3. Trial and Error

This strategy, which some may call “learning from the school of hard knocks,” is all about figuring out what works and doesn’t as you go along.

Although a huge percentage of respondents learned unwritten rules this way — 78 percent to be exact — only 18 percent found this approach helpful.

Wow, wouldn’t it be nice if someone just saved you the trouble and handed you a list of all the unwritten rules? Since that probably won’t happen, think about one small step you can take to put one of the most effective strategies into play for yourself.