Newberry Solutions in Forbes

If you follow me on LinkedIn, you know that I’ve become a regular contributor to Forbes through the Forbes Coaches Council. I love being part of this because it allows Newberry Solutions to have a bigger impact by sharing our proven strategies on a broader platform. 

Today I want to share the recent advice and insights that I and other coaches have shared. If any of these articles leave you wanting to learn more, you’ll also find links to additional resources from this blog.

Shift to a Positive Mindset

In the article “15 Hacks For Pessimists To Switch To A More Positive Point Of View,” I talked about how to notice your thoughts and feelings to recognize and combat your negative self-talk.

Learn more: “How to Stop the Loop of Negative Self-Talk.”

Cope with Change

We’ve all had to become more adaptable over the past few years. In the article “14 Coaches Explore What It Looks Like To Become An ‘Agile’ Leader, “ I stressed the importance of staying centered amid change.

Learn more: “5 Sure-Fire Ways to Get Centered Fast.”

Practice Empathy

Success is about relationships, and that includes relationships with customers or clients. So the topic “16 Ways To Treat Customers Like Humans Instead Of Numbers” is an important one.

Learn more: “Are You Being Strategic About Relationships?”

Network Effectively

What’s the best way to introduce yourself at your next networking event? I explain in the article  “14 Steps To Take A Networking Pitch To The Next Level.”

Learn More: “Networking for Results.”

Avoid DEI Mistakes

“11 Potentially Brand-Damaging Mistakes Corporations Make With DEI Initiatives” is a timely topic as more organizations put a stronger emphasis on diversity, equity and inclusion. As I point out in this article, commitments and allocation of resources must be aligned.

Learn more: “5 Eye-Opening Findings on Women at Work.”

Support Mental Health for All

Along with DEI, companies are also increasing attention on employee well-being. As the article  “How C-Level Leaders Can Address The Mental Health Needs Of Underserved Demographics” points out, this requires more than a one-size-fits-all approach. Different cultures in the workplace have different attitudes about seeking help with mental health.

Learn more: “What is Silencing? (And Why Your Company Must Care About It).”

Speak Up

Introverts have so much value to add to the workplace. The tips from me and other coaches in the article “How More Reserved Employees Can Make Their Voices Heard” will help you bring that value in a way that works for you.

Learn more: “Are You Keeping Your Gold Mine of Ideas to Yourself?”

Talk Face to Face

There’s a lot to navigate in this new world of hybrid work, including the best forms of communication in different situations. The article “14 Examples Where In-Person Communication Is Better Than Virtual At Work” is a guide that all leaders can use.

Learn more: “How to Deliver Tough Messages.”

Protect Your Capacity

Saying “yes” to everything has a cost. If you tend to keep your plate too full, check out the article “16 Ways Professionals Can Avoid Overcommitting Themselves At Work.”

Learn more: “4 Ways to Keep Your Busy Life from Taking Over.”

Keep this roundup as a valuable resource for you, and share it with others. If these Forbes Coaches Council articles have you curious about what coaching can do for you or your organization, I invite you to explore our products and services, including the New Lens app. New Lens can help you bring the power of coaching to more employees, even when budgets and schedules are tight. Set up a demo now.

How to Stop the Loop of Negative Self-Talk

I’m usually a positive person, but earlier this summer, I noticed that my inner voice (and sometimes my outer one!) was starting to drone on like Charlie Brown’s teacher. 

During my treatment for and recovery from cancer, I was vigilant about maintaining a positive mindset and keeping people with positive energy around me. But as the ongoing challenges of recovery and a global pandemic continued, I found it hard to consistently be positive. My attention shifted more to my fatigue and desire for things to be different.

Photo by Julia Avamotive from Pexels

What I experienced is sometimes called ruminative thinking. The thing about rumination is that the more you do it, the easier it is to keep doing it.

I knew I needed more than resilience tools to snap me out of the cycle. A vacation did the trick. It was my first “real” time off in a year and a half, where I could unplug instead of dealing with medical issues. And it allowed me to break the loop of negative thoughts and feel like myself again. 

After vacation, I had the mental energy to start using the resilience tools that I know work for me. And I discovered that many of my clients couldn’t seem to shut off their negative thoughts. It’s understandable, given that stressful events can lead to rumination. And we’ve certainly had no shortage of stress lately! But when negative thoughts start spiraling, you can break the cycle. Here are a few strategies to try.

Give Your Brain a Break

Shaking things up and taking a break from the grind of daily routines can reboot your brain – especially if you focus on what energizes you.

I did this by using my vacation to reconnect with close friends, get out in nature, and challenge myself — hiking, rafting, ziplining and other outdoorsy adventures. Being in the middle of nowhere and away from my technology helped me unplug. Researchers have found that a 90-minute walk in nature or exercise reduces ruminative thinking. Learning is another research-backed way to short-circuit rumination because it helps you focus your thoughts on the moment. For my son and I, learning to fly fish did the trick.

How can you shake things up and recharge? Even a one-day staycation can be mentally invigorating. Do something to get you out of your daily patterns and reconnect you with your authentic self.

Honor Your Feelings

Until you can make time for a break, you can turn down the volume on your ruminative thoughts.

I work with high performers, who often use logic as a key driver in how they approach the world. Logic is valuable but you can’t rationalize your way out of a loop of negative thinking.

Your logical mind may tell you that it makes more sense to forget about whatever is bothering you and just move on. But your emotional mind won’t let go as easily. Rather than trying to talk yourself out of your feelings, see what happens when you acknowledge what’s happening. By giving yourself permission to feel the way that you do — even if you don’t want to feel those emotions – you will move through your emotions more quickly.

Enlist Some Help

Get an outside perspective to help you stop ruminating. Ask someone whom you trust and who will be honest with you to help you snap out of negative thinking. Give them some guidance about how to help you in advance. For example, tell them that if they notice you complaining about the same things over and over, to remind you of the tools and tactics that help you feel more resilient. Below are some resources you can have on hand for when you need them.

• How to Discover Your Resilience

• Escape These 7 Thinking Traps

• How to Move Forward Amid Uncertainty

• 10 Ways to Use Your Body to Change Your Mind

• How to Overcome Negative Feelings

Remember that the goal isn’t to stop negative self-talk from ever happening. It’s to help you break the cycle more quickly. If you’ve found yourself ruminating lately, what’s the first step you will take this week to make a shift?

How to Overcome Negative Feelings

Even as we're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel of the coronavirus pandemic, we're also experiencing stress and exhaustion after more than a year of disruption. Many of us are still not feeling quite like ourselves — and with good reason.

So, I thought it was a good time to revisit the core ideas of positivity. These principles have made a big difference for both me and my clients over the years. And they can be an important part of our toolkits for dealing with stress and restoring and replenishing ourselves as these challenging times continue.

Image by ShonEjai from Pixabay

Negative Emotions Are Big, But Brief

Positive and negative emotions both play important roles in our lives. Because negative emotions help us deal with threats, we're wired to pay a lot of attention to them, according to Dr. Barbara Frederickson, a researcher on the science of emotions. (Be sure to check out her books Positivity and Love 2.0). However, over time, negative emotions may create “lingering lenses" — for example, the tendency to see danger in every situation. It's helpful to remember that emotions, by nature, are brief. If you're having negative emotions right now, it may not feel like they'll ever pass. But they will. Also remind yourself that a negative emotion might feel "big" not because of its actual magnitude, but rather because that's just how our brains work.

Positivity Is Good Medicine

It's not just important to manage our negative emotions right now. We also need to cultivate positive emotions. Positivity has very real effects on our physical and emotional well-being and is tightly linked to how long we live and how healthy we are. Research shows a direct correlation between positive emotions and heart health, immune health and resilience. Positive emotions can even increase your sense of purpose. If this is a time of transition for you, positive emotions can help you find your new path.

3 Steps to More Positivity

Using the power of positivity to tackle your pandemic fatigue doesn't mean telling yourself to "just think positive" or constantly reading positivity quotes or memes on social media. To become more positive, you need intentional strategies. It isn't about suppressing negative feelings.

As an example, let's say that you want to start working out regularly again after letting your fitness habits slide during the pandemic. Based on Dr. Frederickson’s teachings, you could use this simple reflection to get started:

1. Notice how often you actually think about the activity – in this case, exercising. Once or multiple times a day? Weekly? Never? 

2. Identify what percentage of your thoughts about the activity is positive and what percentage is negative. 

3. Finally, think about how positive your experience is while you are engaging in the activity.

In other words, tweak the experience so that it becomes more enjoyable, rather than just focusing on the accomplishment. When I used to go to spinning classes regularly with friends, I loved it — even when I was too tired to do it. I enjoyed catching up with my friends, listening to the upbeat music and picking a person in the class to secretly “compete” with. If I had been focused only on the outcome (getting through the one-hour class) I wouldn’t have enjoyed it nearly as much. 

Reprogram Your Negative Thoughts

Once you have greater awareness about your thoughts about an activity, you can actually “program” your spontaneous thoughts to be more positive. Frederickson suggests using an “if (this), then (that)” approach. Continuing with our example of exercise, here’s what it would look like in practice:

• If I am too tired to exercise after work, then I will remind myself how good I will feel once I start exercising.

• If it is a nice day outside, then I will go for a walk in my favorite park or trail.

These quick strategies will help you develop effective ways to counteract some of the challenges and negative thoughts you may be facing lately. I have been trying them myself and am surprised at how quickly they start to work. How can you put positivity into action in your own life this week? For more self-care strategies like the ones in this article, pick up a copy of "Staying in the Driver's Seat," part of my Leadership EDGE℠ series.

10 Ways to Use Your Body to Change Your Mind

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

As high performers, we're used to thinking of solutions for challenges. But sometimes all that thinking just doesn't work. Trying to think your way out of feeling stressed, frustrated or stuck often ends up making things worse. In the same way, it's hard to think yourself into feeling energetic, confident or calm.

Instead, there's another approach that can be a lot more effective — and a lot more fun. I'm a big believer in using your body to change your mind. More and more research shows us the power of the mind-body connection. Because of this connection, some activities that might not feel productive can actually help you be at your best.

So the next time you find yourself thinking about how to solve or fix something (especially if that "something" is your own mood or mindset), turn your brain off for a while and try one of these ideas instead. 

1. Get Moving

Exercise doesn't just enhance your physical fitness. It also gets your brain in shape. Studies have found a pretty amazing list of mental benefits from exercise. To name just a few, a good workout helps your brain produce feel-good endorphins, improves your stress response, boosts your confidence and reduces anxiety. The next time you feel stressed or stumped, step away from your desk for a walk. Even a quick break for some physical activity can lift your mood and clear mental blocks.

2. Go Outside

That walk will benefit your productivity even more if you can take it outside. Time in nature is a scientifically proven mood booster. It lowers your blood pressure and levels of cortisol, the "fight or flight" hormone. And when it comes to boosting your energy, a nature break is right up there with a cup of coffee. When you return to your desk, it should be easier to focus and concentrate.

3. Laugh It Up

If you tend to check social media during your breaks, skip your news feeds and go straight to the page of your friend who shares the funniest memes. Or perhaps watch a few minutes of a standup special or comedy series. I don't have to tell you that a good laugh feels great. But it also has profound effects on your body and mind. Laughing raises your energy and lowers stress and negative feelings. It can even help you process something that's been bothering you.

4. Let the Tears Flow

Crying may not feel as good in the moment as laughter does. But it's just as beneficial for you. When you cry, your body releases chemicals that can actually help ease both physical and emotional pain and leave you feeling calmer. Some researchers even think crying purges stress hormones and other toxins from your body. If you tend to hold back tears and "push through," see what happens when you give yourself the time and privacy to release all that tension in a good cry.

5. Give and Get Hugs (Safely)

One of the hardest things about the Covid pandemic is that it has limited our physical contact with people we care about. But now, as more of us get vaccinated, there should be more hugs in our future. And not a moment too soon. Touch lowers stress hormones and raises our body's feel-good chemicals, like serotonin. If you live with others, don't forget to spread the hugs to them, too. Sometimes we get lost in our phones in an effort to de-stress. But it would actually lower your stress a lot more to put down the phone and call for a group hug.

6. Maintain Your Appearance

As the pandemic continues on, many of us are feeling lethargy and apathy. In the words of one woman interviewed by The New York Times, remote work has us stuck in "deep pajamaville." Getting out of pajamaville can help us cope with pandemic fatigue. We often talk about maintaining a professional appearance in terms of how it makes others perceive us. But don't forget that the way you look, and the level of care you put into your appearance, also affects how you perceive yourself. This week, devote a little extra time to getting ready even when you don't have a Zoom call. Pull a favorite outfit or accessory back out. Pay attention to how changing your physical appearance affects your confidence and energy.

7. Boogie Down

One advantage of remote work? You have the privacy to get your groove on to your favorite music when you need a break. Dancing can help you stave off anxiety and depression, research has shown. Need some new moves? Get your kids to teach you viral dance trends from TikTok.

8. Belt One Out

While you're dancing, feel free to sing along (even if your kids cringe). Like spending time in nature or getting a big hug, singing lowers the stress hormone cortisol. So go ahead and unleash your inner Beyonce or Bruno Mars.

9. Strike a Pose

No time to take a walk — or stage your own mini musical production number? Just take a moment to stand up and put your hands on your hips (think Wonder Woman). Researcher Amy Cuddy has found that "power poses" like this one help us become "happier, more optimistic, more confident, more creative, more likely to take action, more likely to seek rewards and opportunities, (and) more physically energetic."

10. Be Still

A lot of the ideas in this article involve moving your body in some way. But sometimes what we need most is to quiet the body and, in turn, the mind. Meditation allows us to pause our relentless doing to just be. Practicing mindfulness meditation changes your brain activity — even when you are not meditating.

Your body holds as much wisdom as your mind does. What is it telling you it needs right now? Commit to trying at least one of these ideas this week. For more self-care strategies like the ones in this article, pick up a copy of "Staying in the Driver's Seat," part of my Leadership EDGE℠ series.

Strategies to Stay Calm & Focused in Uncertainty

Did you ever think you’d get this much experience navigating the unknown in this short a timeframe? Well, I certainly didn’t. In addition to all the changes that the coronavirus pandemic brought to my business and personal life in 2020, I was diagnosed with breast cancer on January 2. Although I’m cancer free now, there are still days where I ask myself, “Did all that really happen in 2020?” It was slow and fast all at the same time.

The good news is that I learned some incredible lessons – ones that will serve me for a lifetime and that I will share with others. For starters, the four surgeries and four rounds of chemotherapy in the middle of a pandemic reaffirmed for me that we have far more control over how things unfold than we realize.  I hope that some of these strategies resonate with you, especially as you navigate what’s happening in your life.

Focus on What You Know

When there's a lot of uncertainty in your life, where do your thoughts go? For most of us, it’s all too easy to zero in on everything that you don't know, or the gap between where you are today and where you want to be. Instead, ground yourself in what you do know. What information do you have about your situation? And what else do you know that can be helpful now? For starters, you have shown resilience in the past and know what's helped you during other tough times. And you know who can provide the kind of support you most need, and how they can best do so.

Be Fully Present

We can all play the “What if…?” game. It can be exhausting. Worrying about all the different scenarios and how they might play out in the future can drain the energy right out of you. Take a minute to notice how often you hit your mental "fast forward" button and project into the future when you are stressed out. 

After chemotherapy, I remember how I would go through unpredictable waves of feeling good and feeling bad. For example, I would feel fine for a half hour and then terrible the next half hour. At first, I would get disheartened when I realized that the “feeling good” was only temporary. But, over time, I recognized that I needed a different strategy. I didn't want to ruin the time that I actually felt good anticipating and worrying about when or if I would start feeling bad again. By focusing on the present moment and how I could make the most of it, it changed everything. What would change for you if you shifted your attention from the future to the present—to what’s happening right in front of you?

Take One Step at a Time

A big change can leave you with an overwhelming list of items to work through. That's true whether we're talking about a serious illness, a job loss or even a crisis like the winter storm we recently went through in Texas. If your focus is on solving that giant issue or project looming over your head, it can be paralyzing. If you find yourself in this situation, ask yourself, “What is one step that I can take now to start moving in the right direction?” When you’ve completed that step, identify the next. Framing things this way makes even the toughest challenges a lot more manageable. By not focusing on solving the whole problem, you will be able to solve it faster. There is a reason why my mantra is “small steps can lead to big results.”

Before you move on to the next thing in your day, I want to challenge you to try one of these strategies now. And if you'd like to hear more ideas on building a change mindset, check out Patti Johnson's interview with me on the "Be a Wave Maker: Conversations on Change" podcast. I’ve even gone back and listened to it myself to make sure I don’t lose sight of some of those small, but powerful steps that can make a big difference.