4 Ways to Take Responsibility for Your Energy

Recently, I shared a photo on LinkedIn that struck a chord with thousands of people. The photo shows a sign posted at an Indiana University Health facility which reads:

Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.

Your words matter. Your behaviors matter. Our patients and our teams matter.

Take a slow, deep breath and make sure your energy is in check before entering.

Thank you.

Please take responsibility brown sign

I wonder if those words resonated with so many people because we all know what it’s like to be affected by someone else’s energy — for better or for worse.

As leaders, we have to watch the energy we project. We don’t have to be perfect but do have to remember that we’re always in the “invisible spotlight” and that our behavior and presence sets the tone for others. 

So how can you take ownership for the energy you bring as a leader — even when things get crazy and stressful? Here are a few strategies that consistently work for my executive coaching clients.

1. Take Care of Yourself

You can’t bring positive energy if you’ve depleted your own tank. Are you getting enough sleep, breaks, exercise or healthy food? Too many of us fall into the trap of thinking, “How can I possibly take time for ME right now when there’s so much to do?” But experience and research show that self-care will boost your productivity and help you better support others. Taking care of yourself is not “nice to have” but rather a critical leadership strategy that affects how you show up.

2. Notice Your Energy Patterns

To maximize your energy, plan your activities with your personal energy patterns in mind. For example, if you typically feel more energetic in the morning, complete your most challenging or creative work then. Don’t save it for when your energy is already drained. And don’t schedule most of your draining work activities on one day. Your body will always give you clues about when it’s time to walk away (such as headaches, back pain, fatigue, and the inability to focus) and give yourself a break.

3. Build Your Executive Presence

Think about all the times when someone else’s energy affected you. Their energy probably had less to do with what they said and more to do with how they said it – perhaps with an edge to their tone, impatience, or frustration. Before you dial into your next call or log into your next videoconference, ask yourself, “How do I want to show up? What energy do I want to bring?” By simply pausing to do this, it will affect your executive presence including your tone, body language, and energy.

4. Boost Your Confidence

Your confidence level significantly impacts how you show up with others. Sometimes, all it takes to give yourself a confidence boost is setting aside a little more time – even 15 minutes – to prepare more fully. Go beyond the subject matter to think through the audience, their potential questions and resistance, and your own presence. And remember that taking even 5 minutes a week to jot down a few of your accomplishments and the value they created for your organization, will build your confidence over time.

Your energy as a leader has a ripple effect on other people. I want to challenge you to identify one strategy that you will use to keep your energy in check this week. To take a deeper dive into the topics explored here — including self-care, boosting your energy, developing your executive presence, and building confidence — take a look at our tools and resources ranging from the New Lens® app to books and audio training to executive coaching.  You’ll find solutions that fit both your needs and your busy schedule.


How to Stop the Loop of Negative Self-Talk

I’m usually a positive person, but earlier this summer, I noticed that my inner voice (and sometimes my outer one!) was starting to drone on like Charlie Brown’s teacher. 

During my treatment for and recovery from cancer, I was vigilant about maintaining a positive mindset and keeping people with positive energy around me. But as the ongoing challenges of recovery and a global pandemic continued, I found it hard to consistently be positive. My attention shifted more to my fatigue and desire for things to be different.

Women holding smiley face balloon

Photo by Julia Avamotive from Pexels

What I experienced is sometimes called ruminative thinking. The thing about rumination is that the more you do it, the easier it is to keep doing it.

I knew I needed more than resilience tools to snap me out of the cycle. A vacation did the trick. It was my first “real” time off in a year and a half, where I could unplug instead of dealing with medical issues. And it allowed me to break the loop of negative thoughts and feel like myself again. 

After vacation, I had the mental energy to start using the resilience tools that I know work for me. And I discovered that many of my clients couldn’t seem to shut off their negative thoughts. It’s understandable, given that stressful events can lead to rumination. And we’ve certainly had no shortage of stress lately! But when negative thoughts start spiraling, you can break the cycle. Here are a few strategies to try.

Give Your Brain a Break

Shaking things up and taking a break from the grind of daily routines can reboot your brain – especially if you focus on what energizes you.

I did this by using my vacation to reconnect with close friends, get out in nature, and challenge myself — hiking, rafting, ziplining and other outdoorsy adventures. Being in the middle of nowhere and away from my technology helped me unplug. Researchers have found that a 90-minute walk in nature or exercise reduces ruminative thinking. Learning is another research-backed way to short-circuit rumination because it helps you focus your thoughts on the moment. For my son and I, learning to fly fish did the trick.

How can you shake things up and recharge? Even a one-day staycation can be mentally invigorating. Do something to get you out of your daily patterns and reconnect you with your authentic self.

Honor Your Feelings

Until you can make time for a break, you can turn down the volume on your ruminative thoughts.

I work with high performers, who often use logic as a key driver in how they approach the world. Logic is valuable but you can’t rationalize your way out of a loop of negative thinking.

Your logical mind may tell you that it makes more sense to forget about whatever is bothering you and just move on. But your emotional mind won’t let go as easily. Rather than trying to talk yourself out of your feelings, see what happens when you acknowledge what’s happening. By giving yourself permission to feel the way that you do — even if you don’t want to feel those emotions – you will move through your emotions more quickly.

Enlist Some Help

Get an outside perspective to help you stop ruminating. Ask someone whom you trust and who will be honest with you to help you snap out of negative thinking. Give them some guidance about how to help you in advance. For example, tell them that if they notice you complaining about the same things over and over, to remind you of the tools and tactics that help you feel more resilient. Below are some resources you can have on hand for when you need them.

Remember that the goal isn’t to stop negative self-talk from ever happening. It’s to help you break the cycle more quickly. If you’ve found yourself ruminating lately, what’s the first step you will take this week to make a shift?