Check In on Your Relationships

In October, we've been working with the theme of relationships. In our first post of the month, I challenged you to identify your most important relationships at work and focus on improving the ones that were a little rocky. How did that go for you? Using the approach below, let’s take a look at your progress:

• First, list the priority relationship(s) you wanted to improve. For example, maybe you focused on your relationships with your boss and with one of your direct reports.

• Next, for each person, jot down what has improved.

"My boss is taking more time to understand my ideas instead of cutting me off or multi-tasking when I speak." "My direct report has gone from complaining to me all the time to now beginning to offer some productive suggestions."

Remember, relationships take time to cultivate. Even small changes can be positive indicators. Notice what has happened as well as what doesn’t anymore. For example, you may no longer be having difficult conversations with the person.

• Then, identify what worked. The third step is the most important one. Here, list what worked. Notice the actions you took that improved the relationship. With your boss, maybe the difference-maker was engaging in strategic self-promotion or strengthening your relationships with her trusted advisers so they could share positive feedback about you (the messenger does matter). With your direct report, maybe you saw changes start to happen when you made the effort to find out what was important to him, limit the time he was allowed to vent, and help him remove barriers in the way of his goals.

By taking the time to notice what helped you strengthen these relationships, you will more proactively put these strategies into play. In effect, these are your personal best practices and leveraging them is a powerful strategy that many often overlook.

I hope that you'll take away some new insights on your relationships from our work this month, and I challenge you to keep investing just a few minutes each week. It doesn’t have to be time consuming, but your focus on relationships should be consistent. You'll find ideas on how to do that in my new Leadership EDGE SeriesSM e-booklets "Building Influence" and "Building a Powerful Network." And remember that small steps can lead to big results!

What Hillary Clinton Shows Us About Leadership

Will she or won't she? The intense speculation continues about whether Hillary Clinton will run for president. Recently, I talked with WBAP radio in Dallas about Clinton's leadership style. A lot of what we discussed has relevance to female leaders everywhere, especially when it comes to relationships, the theme of our posts this month. Today, I wanted to expand on that radio interview to talk more about what women leaders can learn from Clinton — and from how the public perceives her.

Beyond Competence

The foundation for any leader, from the head of a small business to the president of the United States, is having the baseline competence to do the job. Clinton looks strong on this front. She's been secretary of state, a senator and first lady. She's shown she can get things done, and she has weathered tough situations. Because she's been in politics a long time, she knows how this world works.

Besides basic competence, leaders also have to get things done with and through others. They have to be great at relationships. So how does Clinton do here? Through her past positions, she's developed a network of relationships that she could draw on as president. But how she relates to others could also be a stumbling block for Clinton in some ways.

Making a Connection

Leaders must be able to inspire and create a vision others want to follow. That's an area where Clinton has trouble, especially when you compare her with her charismatic husband (as voters inevitably will).

Another key quality for a leader is being someone whom others want to work with. Here, too, Clinton may falter. Her image is that she can be aggressive and unapproachable. This could affect her success working with other leaders.

That image also affects her relationship with voters. A leader has to have a style that people relate to. They need to feel connection with the leader. One big question mark around a potential Clinton candidacy is whether she can create that sense of connection with voters. Admittedly, Clinton, and all female leaders, get judged on this likability factor differently than men do. For example, male leaders seem to have more leeway to show strong feelings that would get a female leader labeled "overly emotional." Of course, that double standard shouldn't exist, but it has been and will continue to be a factor in Clinton's success as a leader.

The Takeaways for You

• Remember that leadership requires more than competence or "hard skills." It's about how you relate to others, too.

• Learn how to connect your agenda to what's important to others. Get to know them and what they value. Finding common ground between what you want and what they want will help you inspire them and win their support.

• Show that you are open to working with others. If, for example, you tend to shoot down a lot of ideas, work on your phrasing. There's a big difference between “There’s a lot that could go wrong with this idea” and “I really like Points A, B and C of this idea. And let’s also consider these other aspects…”

This week, see what you can learn from other female leaders and how you can apply it in your own career. Pay attention to what works and what doesn't for both the leaders you know and leaders such as Clinton who are in the public eye. You can find more ideas and tips like the ones in this post in my new Leadership EDGE booklet "Building Executive Presence."

The Key Work Relationship You're Probably Overlooking

This month, we're talking about strengthening your leadership by building your relationships. That topic may get you thinking about how you interact with your boss, your peers and directs, but there's another relationship that has a huge impact on your success — and it's one you may be ignoring. I'm talking about your relationship with yourself. The way you view yourself affects how you influence others.

The experiences of one my clients really drive this point home. Julie is in a new role, but is not new to her organization. She has a unique skill set and a lot to offer.

But Julie’s view of herself is "I have to prove that I earned this promotion."

Her belief really affects how she works with others. In tough situations, she feels that it's on her to "fix" everything. This keeps her from taking a more balanced approach, thinking about what she can do and expecting involvement from others. Indirectly, she's giving away too much of her power, which will make her a less effective leader.

The stories you tell yourself always affect your actions, even if you think you are keeping negativity under wraps. If your relationship with yourself needs some work, here are three strategies to try.

1. Send yourself the right messages. What does your self-talk sound like? Are you telling yourself to push harder, prove yourself or do better? Start by identifying one positive message to replace a negative one, to help you bring your A game. Another tactic is to notice your strengths and how they drive results. Identify some specific examples of how you have leveraged those strengths to make a difference in the past few months, whether it’s personally or professionally.

1. Check in with yourself regularly. If you can pause to really notice what's going on for you in the moment, you can act more effectively. For example, if, like Julie, you feel compelled to prove yourself in meetings, take a minute to notice your mindset before you walk into your next one. Take a few deep breaths to center yourself and think about how you want to “show up.” Remind yourself of the importance of shared ownership in driving commitment and results, and that you do have something valuable to offer.

1. Remember self-care. Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally isn't selfish. In fact, it's the most essential thing you can do for success. If you expect high performance from yourself, that requires getting enough sleep and exercise, managing stress, celebrating successes and feeding your spirit.

This week, notice how your relationship with yourself affects your relationships with others. Use one of these strategies to make internal shifts that can help you improve your mindset and performance. If this article hit home for you, you'll also enjoy my new Leadership EDGE SeriesSM booklets "Building Executive Presence," "Building Influence" and "Strategically Standing Out." All are filled with more ideas for small steps that can lead to big results.

Strengthen Your Leadership by Building Relationships

This month, we'll be talking about how to build strong relationships, an essential for any leader. As you advance in your career, your success becomes more tied to the quality of your relationships because leaders have to get things done with and through others.  

As we start this discussion, I want to challenge you to focus on cultivating your own relationships this month. Today, I'll help you identify your most important relationships and give you some ideas for improving the ones that are little rocky. At the end of the month, we'll check back in on what you accomplished. Ready to get started?

Your key relationships

Among key stakeholders in the company, who really impacts your ability to get results? Remember that their influence may be through formal power that comes with their position or informal power as an opinion leader in your organization. Make a list of these individuals, putting them into one of three categories: high, moderate, or low impact.

Next, consider their level of supportiveness toward you and your goals. Who is an advocate, who is neutral, and who could be a derailer? Confirm your assessments with people that you trust — especially individuals who can give you insight based on direct interaction. Once you have completed this exercise, identify who has a high impact on your results and is either neutral or a potential derailer. If you identify several people, choose 2-3 to focus on first.

It’s important to understand that some of these individuals may have formed their perceptions about you through others, not through direct experiences with you. For example, a few months ago, one of my clients learned that a key executive wanted her out of the company even though he had never worked with her. Through our coaching process, she turned his perception around by consistently demonstrating her value, building a strong leadership brand, and developing stronger authentic relationships with his trusted advisors. That same executive is now a strong supporter, although the level of direct interaction with my client is still minimal.

Strategies to improve rocky relationships

Now, armed with your list of priority relationships, how do you make the rocky ones better? These three strategies are a good start:

1. Have the right mindset. The No. 1 thing you can do to improve a relationship is to start from a place of acceptance. I realize that can be tough when you dislike certain things about her behavior or how she deals with you. If you expect her to show up as she always has, it will be less of a derailer in your conversation. Just contemplate what would happen if you approached her without expecting that anything will change, and with the assumption that she's doing the best she can.

1. Find common ground. Take the time to consider what's most important to the other person. Look for clues in how he invests his time, what he says and does. What overlaps with what is important to you? Even if you dislike each other personally, you can improve your interactions by emphasizing where you are aligned – whether it’s your passion for growing the business or interests you have outside of work.

1. Avoid triggers. Take a few minutes to consider the other person’s hot buttons. For example, if she gets defensive every time she hears "no" or other words that sound like resistance or disagreement, how can you rephrase your message? ("Yes, I understand, and let's also consider …")

This week, I want to challenge you to identify at least one high priority relationship and one step you will take to strengthen it. I'm looking forward to sharing more ideas and strategies with you this month, and to checking in with you at the end of October to see how your relationship-building work has gone.

You can find additional ways to strengthen relationships in my new Leadership EDGE booklets "Building Influence" and "Building a Powerful Network." Remember that small steps can lead to big results.

The Real Secret to Being More Productive and Effective

We're all looking for the edge to be more productive. And I have good news: Over and over, I've seen one simple technique make a huge difference for my executive coaching clients when they try it. 

If you're ready to step up your game from simply doing well to truly excelling, it comes down to creating time to reflect.  

I'll give you the same advice that I give my clients about implementing this practice: Start by putting just 10-15 minutes for reflection on your calendar. Use this time to think about the meetings you'll be attending. What do you need to do prepare? What do you anticipate coming up at these meetings? What does success at this meeting look like for you?  

Also take some time to review the meetings you've been to recently. What happened? What were the dynamics in the room? How do those things affect what you should do next? Who else might you need to engage, to achieve the necessary results?  

As you begin tapping into the power of reflection, the first step is to simply schedule the time to think on the calendar and protect it. To set yourself up for success, pinpoint the days and times on your calendar when competing demands for your time are least likely to pull you away.  

Start with scheduling 15 minutes of reflection time once a week; then work your way up to 15 minutes several times a week. Eventually aim to take an hour multiple times per week. As you increase the time you dedicate for reflection, also start designating how you will use that time. In other words, specify the topics you will focus on.  

From my experience with my executive coaching clients, once they start setting aside even a little time for reflection, they quickly see results like these:  

• They have a better sense of what success and their desired outcomes look like.

• They get more mileage out of meetings.

• They more effectively anticipate obstacles.

• They delegate more often, maximizing their own productivity and better leveraging their team.

All of those positive outcomes motivate them to set aside even more reflection time.

The key thing they realize, and that you'll realize when you start building in your own reflection time, is that when you're constantly in reactive mode, you're always a step behind. Taking the time to reflect and strategize is essential to being more proactive.

Today I challenge you to block out even 15 minutes for reflection on your calendar and to pay attention to the difference it makes in your week. Remember that big improvements in your productivity and effectiveness start with small shifts like this one. Ready for more ideas? You'll find them in my new e-booklet "Staying in the Driver's Seat." It's part of The Leadership EDGE SeriesSM.

How to Change How Others See You

Do others' perceptions of your leadership match the way you want them to see you? If your personal brand could use a tune-up and you aren't sure where to start, I have a strategy that will help you identify the shifts you should make.

You'll need to have conversations with three people, so start by identifying the colleagues, mentors and others you trust and whose opinions you value.

In each conversation, ask these three questions:

1. What should you start doing? Sometimes there are leadership opportunities that we have trouble seeing for ourselves. An outside perspective can help open our eyes.

2. What should you stop doing? These answers may be harder to hear, but it's important to identify the habits that make you less effective and that keep others from seeing your full potential as a leader. For example, maybe you have trouble letting disagreements drop.

3. What should you continue doing? The people you talk to may be able to tell you about things that you are doing well and that you should do more often. We tend to underestimate the importance of our strengths and skills, which keeps us from putting them into play as fully or as powerfully as we could.

When you finish those three conversations, you'll have some solid information to work with. To help you identify the ideas you should act on first, consider what you've learned about yourself in the context of what you want your brand to be. What are the three things that you want others to say when they describe you? (For example, perhaps you want to be known as decisive, calm and strategic.)

Now, look back at your "start/stop/continue" conversations. What feedback did you receive that will help you build the three aspects of your brand? Prioritize those actions.

This week, start putting your "start/stop/continue" conversations on the calendar. You'll come away from the process with at least one meaningful change that will help bring others' perceptions of you in line with your desired brand. To learn more about this topic, check out my new e-booklet "Building Executive Presence." It's part of The Leadership EDGE SeriesSM  and will give you more ideas for small changes that lead to big results in cultivating your personal leadership brand.

Getting a Leadership EDGE

How often has this thought crossed your mind? “I can’t afford time away to attend training and don't have the bandwidth to read yet another leadership book that may or may not help. I already have more than enough on my plate.”

We hear this all the time from people who want to get better results but struggle with finding the time to invest in their own development. So, today, I'm excited to announce the launch of the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM of booklets — a new tool to help you succeed.

We designed the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM booklets to give you what you need in a way that works for your busy schedule. Each booklet gives you practical, relevant information in manageable chunks to quickly help you get noticed, get results and get the edge.

Based on our experience advising and coaching leaders in Fortune 500 companies for over 20 years, we understand the challenges and skills that affect your ability to move up. No matter where you are in your career today, you'll come away with strategies you can use right away.

Choose which booklets make sense for you, based on your specific needs:

Building Executive Presence — Do others see you as someone who has leadership potential? Is your presence in sync with what you want others to notice about the value you bring? Use these everyday strategies to raise your self-awareness and quickly strengthen how you show up as a leader.

Strategically Standing Out —Do you wonder what others really think of you, and how that image hurts or helps your career and effectiveness? Do you want to get recognized for your contributions but just don’t know how to tastefully do so? This booklet will help you stand out among your colleagues and get the recognition you deserve.

Communicating with Impact — Does your communication style help others see you as someone with leadership potential? With valuable insight and information to share? Does your approach instill confidence in others? Learn how to send the right message, one that strengthens your brand and has a positive impact on business results.

Building Influence — As people move up in organizations, they have to get more done with and through other people to be successful. This requires understanding how to effectively build relationships and navigate organizational dynamics to create positive outcomes. Use the strategies in this booklet to minimize conflict and get faster results while building your credibility.

Staying Engaged — Are you losing that passion that helped you get where you are today? Are you ready for something to change, but don’t know exactly what or how to figure it out? Are you starting to feel disengaged? Gain more clarity and rediscover your passion so that you can get back in the game.

Staying in the Driver’s Seat —Do you have difficulty proactively creating the life that you want? Is how you invest your time and energy in sync with what matters most to you personally and professionally? Use these tools to get more of what you want personally, while moving forward in your career.

Building a Strong Team — Do you lead others, formally or informally, and want tools to help you manage and elevate their performance? Do you want to build more trust and promote more collaboration? This booklet has simple, effective strategies to help you do just that.

Building a Powerful Network — Do you understand the importance of a strong network, but struggle with finding the time or strategies that will work for you? Do you wish you had some simple tools to help you make progress? Learn how to develop lasting, genuine relationships that will help you get results for your career and the business.

Get immediate access to the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM of booklets, along with the other leadership tools we offer, in the Shop section of our website.

Step Out to Close the 'Confidence Gap'

Did you read the recent article "The Confidence Gap" in The Atlantic? The authors, broadcast journalists Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, explore the disparity in confidence between men and women and how that affects women's success in the workplace.  "Compared with men, women don’t consider themselves as ready for promotions, they predict they’ll do worse on tests, and they generally underestimate their abilities," Shipman and Kay write.   And they add, "A growing body of evidence shows just how devastating this lack of confidence can be. Success, it turns out, correlates just as closely with confidence as it does with competence."   But there is good news: Confidence can be learned, Shipman and Kay write.   A confidence makeover doesn't happen overnight. Instead, I believe that you start to build confidence as soon as you take just one small action to "put yourself out there" more than you have in the past.   Are you ready to take that first step toward more confidence? Here are a few ideas:

• Ask for something you want.

• Make a suggestion that you believe in, and that might meet with resistance.

• Speak up in a setting that’s less comfortable for you, such as meeting with senior leaders.

• Volunteer for an assignment that will require you to stretch beyond your comfort zone.

• Reach out to a leader you admire and respect but have hesitated to contact before.

After you've decided on what your action will be, try to get to the heart of what makes it challenging for you. What has held you back from actions like this in the past? Maybe you've worried you might lose credibility or even fail on that "stretch" assignment, or that you were wasting a senior leader's time by asking her for advice.   Once you clarify what's held you back in the past, consider the kind of support you need to make your bold move this time. What words of encouragement would you need to hear? Who do those words need to come from? You or someone else, such as a mentor or a former boss?   Finally, find a way to hold yourself accountable for your confidence-building move. What do you need to do to make sure you carry out your plan for putting yourself out there? Perhaps it's just scheduling time in your calendar to take action, or a follow-up call from someone you trust.   This week, identify the first step you want to take toward "stepping out" in a more visible way. Each small step will help you close that "confidence gap". And remember, small steps lead to big results.

Simple Steps to De-Stressing

It's not your imagination: People are feeling more stress these days. High performers, in particular tend to live packed lives and often work in dynamic, demanding environments. As you may have personally experienced, too much stress can hurt both your job performance and your health. And when you're overwhelmed, it can be hard to identify a first step toward finding a way out of your stress – especially if it feels like you have to make big changes to get there.

That's why I wanted to share three simple ideas to try the next time you are stressed. Choose any one of these to help you start getting centered again.

1. Just breathe.

This is one of the simplest, most effective strategies you can use. Under stress, we tend to take shallow breaths or even hold our breath more often. But by practicing diaphragmatic breathing (in other words, taking breaths that make your stomach rise instead of your chest) you can avoid "fight or flight" mode and trigger your body's relaxation response. Try this exercise when you're feeling stressed: Breathe in to a count of 3, exhale to a count of 6.

You can also practice this exercise proactively a few times a day to help keep your stress levels manageable. You can even do it in the middle of a meeting. And don't worry — you won't sound like Darth Vader!

2. Check in.

Schedule reminders on your calendar to check in with yourself regularly about how you are doing and what you need in that particular moment — whether it's to grab some lunch, drink water, stretch your stiff muscles, or to put on a sweater to be more comfortable in your chilly office. When our schedules are packed, it's easy to ignore to basic physical needs like these. Noticing and tending to them will help keep stress in check.

3. Get a boost.

Do a quick activity that will energize you. Maybe that's taking a walk outside, listening to your favorite music, stopping by the desk of the co-worker who always makes you laugh, or just being in a different environment for five minutes. Tony Schwartz, CEO of The Energy Project, advocates taking "renewal breaks" not only to be happier, but also to do your best work. Research shows that the quality of the renewal, matters more than the length of it, and it can dramatically impact your engagement and results.

This week, try one or more of these strategies the next time your stress levels rise. Or even better, proactively build these strategies into how you work. When things seem overwhelming, taking one of these small steps will help you stay calm and grounded. Remember, small steps can lead to big results.

The Power of One Conversation

Have you ever had one of those moments when someone tells you that something you said made a real difference in his or her life? Maybe it's a conversation you don't even remember, but it helped the other person make a change or shift perspective. As busy as we all are, it's important to realize how much you can affect another person with a single conversation. Just making someone feel validated, supported or heard makes a big impact and takes only a few minutes of your time.

We all have those times when we feel stuck or frustrated and need to talk through a challenge. To be a great conversation partner when someone needs a sounding board, you don't have to have all the answers or come up with an action plan. He may be in a frustrating situation that he can't change in the short term, but even helping him shift his attitude about the situation can be extremely valuable.

The key thing is just to be fully present for the other person. Take in what she's saying, both with her words and with her tone and her body language. That kind of deep listening is a gift. Take time to reflect what you notice: "You sound very upset about this." “You sound drained.” "You just don't seem like yourself."

These three questions can be helpful to ask the other person move forward:

• How do you feel right now?

• What do you really need right now?

• What do you most want right now?

(They're also great questions to ask yourself when you're feeling frustrated or stuck.)

The first two questions can help the other person identify her emotions and think strategically. Perhaps she feels disappointed and needs to feel appreciated. Sometimes we tend to stay "in our heads" about tough work challenges, so also getting in touch with our emotions can help us find the best solutions.

The "what do you want" question helps the other person start to take action to get centered again. That could mean getting positive encouragement from someone else, taking a break, getting some sleep, going for a stress-relieving run, or spending quality time with family.

This week, notice the colleagues around you who may need you to lend an ear or share your insight, and make yourself available for conversation. This small step for you can lead to big results for someone else.

What’s Next for You this Year?

As the year progresses or comes to a close, take a moment to step back and look at the bigger picture. As high performers, we’re always pushing to achieve and tend to leap from one goal to the next without a pause.

Taking some reflection time, though, helps you be more strategic. Here are five questions to consider:

1. What have you accomplished this year? What has most excited you? What have you been most proud of? Those answers will give you insights on how to put your strengths and passions into play more powerfully.

2. What has helped or hindered your progress? Revisit any goals you set for the year. Do you need to shift your approach in any way to reach those goals this year?

3. What have you learned about your leadership? As you consider the answer to this question, identify what you want to take forward into the rest of the year, and what you want to leave behind.

4. How will you celebrate what you've done so far? However eager you are to keep moving forward, remember to pause to celebrate. You'll give your energy a boost.

5. What's next? Now that you've taken stock of where you are, be deliberate about how you want to move forward during the rest of the year. Where do you want to focus your energy and effort, given what you have learned so far this year?

This week, set aside some time to reflect on these questions and set your course for the rest of the year. You'll find more ideas on becoming proactive instead of reactive in my video "Making the Most of Your Time." Even pausing for a few minutes can open the door to new insights. Remember that small steps lead to big results.

FlyGirl's Tips to Soar in Your Career

As I mentioned in a past post, I spoke last month at the 2014 Working Mother Media Multicultural Women's National Conference in New York. As one of the U.S. Marine Corps’ first African American female pilots and America’s first African American female combat pilot, Vernice "FlyGirl" Armour was one of the most-talked-about presenters at the conference.

The consultant, trainer, speaker and author delivered an energetic keynote speech. I want to share some of the key points I took away from Armour's talk at the conference. I think you'll find them inspiring and energizing, and many are aligned with how I coach leaders.

• Look and act like you're already at the next level.

  As I always say, “Think about how you show up.” Consider what it says about your capabilities and potential. By noticing and aligning your behavior – in an authentic way – with what is valued at the next level, others will see more potential in you. Learn more about the importance of how you show up in this video, and check out my new booklet "Building Executive Presence" (part of the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM) for more strategies you can quickly put into play.

• Make a decision.

  Don't sit on the fence. Trust me; it will hurt after a while. If you need some extra motivation, learn how to escape three traps that keep you on the fence instead of moving forward.

• Acknowledge the obstacle in front of you, but don’t give it power.

  This was one of Armour’s biggest messages. She talked about the importance of recognizing the roadblocks, but simply as a way to strategize around moving past them. People often put too much emphasis on the obstacle itself, giving it a life of its own. She encourages you to avoid making excuses; commit to the commitment; take action — no matter how minor it may seem; and review, recharge and re-attack.

• What is your flight plan?

  Without clarity around your direction, it’s hard to move forward. By taking time to get really specific about the action you will take, and writing the steps down, you will increase the likelihood of achieving your goals.

• You have permission to engage now.

  Stop raising your hand waiting for others to give you permission and just move forward. You are more empowered than you may realize. Recognize when you just need to take action and inform.

• As leaders, what seeds are you planting?

  Each of us has the opportunity to develop future talent. What are you doing to cultivate others? In my own work, I talk about the importance of delegating to help others grow. Another e-booklet in the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM. "Building a Strong Team," has more ideas on developing others.

• Who needs a runway? Take off from where you are.

  Sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith and go for it. I often hear stories of people who tie their commitment to taking action to another condition being met. At the end of the day, that may never happen. What would mean to you if you achieved what you want? What would be happening in your life? How would it feel? As you think through the answers to those questions, they will motivate you to take the first step.

What piece of Armour's advice resonates the most with you now? How can you put it into play this week? Remember, soaring like FlyGirl starts with small steps.

PhotoCredit - Wikipedia

A Busy Summer: Taking Things Up a Notch

This summer has been packed with new opportunities to speak and teach about leadership. Here's a little bit of what I've been doing. And stay tuned: There's another big announcement ahead! 'Finding Balance' Interview on CBS11

PepsiCo CEO Indra K. Nooyi sparked a lot of discussion with her remarks during the Aspen Ideas Festival."I don’t think women can have it all; I just don’t think so," Nooyi said. "We pretend we have it all.”

CBS11 here in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex invited me to give my own take on this topic. During a live studio interview, I said women can "have it all" but we have to look at it from a long-term perspective. At any given moment in your life, some things will take higher priority than others. Keep the bigger picture in mind, and what success looks like for you regardless of what others think. Everyone has an opinion about what makes a good mom, a good wife, a good leader. When you have clarity about your own definition of success, you can make choices in sync with it.

Fox News Radio Interview on Narcissism

Recently, I was asked to give my perspective on another topic in the news with Fox News WILS 1320 radio in Lansing, Mich. I was interviewed about a story in the Wall Street Journal that shared recent research on narcissism and other "bad" behaviors that can sometimes help people rise as leaders. I talked about the detriments and benefits of narcissism, and that we all have a bit of it. When taken to the extreme, narcissism can certainly cause disruption.

To work with someone prone to narcissism, look for ways to find alignment between what you want to achieve and what's important to him or her. And remember not to take a narcissist's behavior personally or let it push your buttons.

Multicultural Women's National Conference

On July 16-17, I took part in Working Mother's 2014 Multicultural Women's National Conference.

At my session, I shared strategies to help attendees avoid burnout, stay engaged and be more fulfilled. In a lively discussion, we talked about how to maintain energy and focus when we're pulled in so many directions and we have high expectations for ourselves.

One of the major points I stressed was being mindful of your physical energy, especially when it comes to getting enough rest. However busy you are, it's important to take breaks, even if it's just to get away from your desk for a moment or to do a breathing exercise.

I'll share more about my own takeaways from the conference in a future post.

Liberty and Leadership at Bush Institute

I've written before about how much I love working with the George W. Bush Institute’s programs to develop and empower leaders. In July, I was honored to teach at a new program, the Liberty and Leadership Forum. The forum's first class is made up of young leaders from Burma. The program focuses on helping these democracy advocates, many of whom had been political prisoners, learn the skills they need to bring about change in their home country.

In my first session with them, I coached them on how to clearly and concisely articulate the value they offer. This excerpt from an article written by the Dallas Morning News reporter who sat in my session captures the experience.

“On one of the last afternoons of training, the young Burmese tittered as they took turns with their one-sentence speeches.

It helped that the 18 participants had grown close over three weeks. When one of them said he would someday run the country, the rest of the group teased him, calling him “Mr. President.” But they also eagerly gave one another feedback.

When Kyi Min Han’s turn arrived, his passion was unmistakable. Words tumbled out as he tried to explain his efforts to improve the skills of government workers. That, in turn, would strengthen government institutions and ultimately make the country more stable.

But he couldn’t distill it down to one concise sentence — key for focusing goals and capturing others’ attention. Try after try got him closer, as his peers urged him on. And then on what must have been his 10th attempt, he nailed it.

The room burst into applause.”

As I continue to do this type of work, it reinforces the fact that no matter where you are in the world, whatever your work is, it's critical to help others understand the value you bring in simple terms. Only then can they can connect you to people who can benefit from what you offer.

We ended the day by taking this concept one step further – discussing how to build and leverage their networks. Given their circumstances, many of the participants wanted more access to people with power and influence who could help them effect change. But equally important was their need for relationships that would give them critical support and encouragement to keep forging ahead.

I left that afternoon truly humbled to work with people who are fighting so hard for the privileges we often take for granted in the United States.

Coming Soon

In the next few days, look for an announcement about some exciting new offerings aimed at helping you fit leadership development into your busy schedule.

7 Thinking Traps That Undermine Leaders—And How to Escape Them

When the pressure is high and the pace is relentless, your brain will try to work against you. Here’s what to watch for.

I was working with a senior leader recently. Talented, experienced, the kind of person her organization depends on. And she said something that stopped me cold:

“I just don’t think I’m cut out for this role.”

She’d had a rough quarter. A major initiative hadn’t landed the way she’d hoped. Two of her strongest people were being pulled toward other priorities. And she was navigating an executive team that seemed to be communicating less the more pressure mounted.

Anyone who’s been through a stretch like that knows the feeling: Is it me? Am I the problem?

She was not the problem. And she was cut out for her role. But in that moment, she had fallen into one of the most common thinking traps for leaders: letting a hard stretch become a judgment about her identity.

Thinking traps are patterns of distorted thinking that feel true in the moment but lead us away from clear judgment and effective action. They’re not new. Over the years, I’ve seen them surface constantly in my coaching work. But these days they’re feeling more common than ever. Right now, leaders are navigating unprecedented complexity, uncertainty and change. Artificial intelligence is reshaping industries faster than most organizations can adapt. Teams are distributed, attention is fractured, and the pace of change has made the job of leading more cognitively demanding than at any other point in my 17-plus years in this work.

Under that kind of pressure, even excellent leaders stop thinking clearly. Trying to protect them from threat, their brains start generating narratives that are unhelpful and just plain wrong.

Why Thinking Traps Hit Leaders Especially Hard Right Now

What makes us vulnerable to thinking traps? You know firsthand that when you’re physically depleted—running on too little sleep, skipping meals, neglecting exercise—your brain feels foggy. That fogginess isn’t just your perception. The exhausted brain shifts into a more reactive mode. The prefrontal cortex, which handles sound judgment, perspective-taking and long-range thinking, gets crowded out by the more threat-sensitive parts of the brain. We stop being strategic. We start being stressed. And the traps follow almost automatically.

The stressed leader reacts instead of responds. Catastrophizes instead of assesses. Assumes the worst about other people’s intentions. Swings between taking on all the blame and deflecting responsibility entirely. Makes decisions they wouldn’t make with a full night’s sleep and a clear head.

The stressed leader operates from urgency—constantly pulled toward what’s loudest and most immediate. The strategic leader protects time for what’s actually important, makes decisions from a position of clarity and builds shared ownership with their team instead of hoarding control or abandoning it.

Thinking traps keep leaders stuck in stress mode. Getting unstuck starts with learning to recognize them.

The 7 Thinking Traps

These seven traps are well-documented in research, and I see versions of all of them regularly in my executive coaching work. Take a moment now to read through them with honest curiosity: Which ones feel familiar? Where do you recognize yourself?

1. Personalizing: Taking the Blame for Things You Don’t Control

What it sounds like: My team is struggling because I haven’t figured out how to lead them through this level of change.

When you personalize, you accept full responsibility for outcomes that are actually the result of several factors—some of which have nothing to do with you.

This trap is especially damaging because it’s common among leaders who care deeply. When things go wrong, they turn inward immediately. They see a client departure—or a disengaged team member, or an initiative that didn’t land—as evidence of their failure.

For some leaders, personalizing might feel like a virtue because they think they’re holding themselves accountable. But that’s not what’s happening. Instead, claiming ownership of every variable prevents them from seeing the full picture of what went wrong and finding better solutions going forward.

The reframe:

When something goes wrong, get curious before you get self-critical. Ask yourself: “What evidence supports that this was because of me—and what doesn’t?” You can take genuine responsibility for your contribution without shouldering the weight of everything that was never yours to carry.

2. Externalizing: Handing Your Power to Forces Outside You

What it sounds like: The market shifted. The board kept changing the priorities. The leadership team is dysfunctional, not me.

Externalizing is the mirror image of personalizing, and it’s just as dangerous. It means placing responsibility for your outcomes entirely outside yourself, and in doing so, giving up what you actually control: your own choices and responses.

I’ve watched genuinely skilled leaders stall out because they were so focused on what was being done to them that they never stopped to ask what they could do in response. And I get it—leaders are dealing with a lot right now. AI disruption, competitive pressure, a complicated talent market. Those are real forces. But leaders who get stuck here stop learning, stop adapting and eventually stop leading. They become spectators in their own situation.

The reframe:

What evidence supports that this situation was because of others or external factors—and what doesn’t? Name honestly what is outside your control. Then turn your attention to your own role. You almost certainly have more influence than it feels like right now.

3. Magnifying and Minimizing: Turning Up the Bad, Turning Down the Good

What it sounds like: We lost that account—this whole quarter has been a disaster. Their positive feedback was just them being polite.

When you turn up the volume on the negatives and turn it down on the positives, you get a distorted sense of your performance and your situation.

We work with a lot of high performers, who are particularly vulnerable to this thinking trap. The same high standards that drive them to excellence can make it nearly impossible to let a success land. One difficult client interaction overshadows a dozen strong ones. A single critical comment in a performance review drowns out months of genuine praise.

You can’t deploy your strengths more deliberately if you can’t see them clearly. Overanalyzing your failures while treating your successes as flukes isn’t humility—it’s leading from incomplete data.

The reframe:

Before you analyze what went wrong, identify what went right. Not as a feel-good exercise, but as a data-collection exercise. What specifically worked, and why?

4. Overgeneralizing: Mistaking a Moment for a Trend

What it sounds like: Every time we try something new, it fails. We’ve never been able to retain strong people here.

Overgeneralizing means drawing broad conclusions from limited evidence—and then treating those conclusions as fixed facts about yourself, your team or your organization.

One difficult presentation becomes “I’m a poor presenter.” A failed initiative becomes “We’re not good at executing new ideas.” Once we get set on those conclusions, they close off the possibility of fresh solutions. If you’ve already decided something “never” works, you stop looking for new approaches.

The reframe:

Replace “always,” “never” and “every time” with “this time” or “in this situation.” One data point is information. It’s not a pattern. And it’s certainly not a verdict about who you are or what you’re capable of.

5. Mind Reading: Assuming the Worst Without Asking

What it sounds like: I haven’t heard from her—she must think my proposal is a bad idea. He was quiet in that meeting; I know he’s frustrated with me.

Mind reading means assuming you know what someone else is thinking—and almost always assuming the worst.

As pressure and stress increase, so does the pull of this trap. When people are busy, communication breaks down. Emails don’t get returned promptly. Leaders get left out of meetings. They feel “in the dark,” and they instinctively start looking for patterns that might explain what’s happening. The stressed mind rushes in with a story, and it’s almost always a negative one—more about our own fears and insecurities than the actual situation.

I’ve seen mind reading cost leaders critical relationships, because they pulled back from someone based on a conclusion that had no basis in fact. I’ve also seen it cost organizations real momentum, because a leader assumed a key stakeholder was skeptical without ever testing that assumption.

The reframe:

Make it a practice to ask rather than assume. “I noticed you were quiet in that meeting—what was on your mind?” takes 10 seconds and can save hours of mental energy spent on a story that may not be true.

6. Emotional Reasoning: Treating Feelings as Facts

What it sounds like: I feel overwhelmed, so this must be an impossible situation. I’m anxious about this, which must mean I’m not ready.

Emotional reasoning means treating your emotional state as evidence about external reality, when in fact it’s only evidence about your internal state.

Emotions are real and they matter. But they are not always accurate reporters about what is happening around you. A leader who feels overwhelmed isn’t necessarily in an unmanageable situation. They may be depleted—physically or emotionally—or working without the right support, or simply in a chapter that calls for a different approach.

I see emotional reasoning showing up frequently around AI right now. Leaders who feel behind on understanding how AI is changing their industry often conclude, based on that feeling alone, that they aren’t equipped to lead through change. That feeling is worth paying attention to: It might be telling you to learn more, to ask for help, to slow down. But it’s not proof that you’re in the wrong seat.

The reframe:

Separate the feeling from the conclusion. “I feel overwhelmed” is a signal that something needs to shift. But “this is impossible” is a claim that deserves evidence before you act on it. Feelings are data, not verdicts.

7. Catastrophizing: Jumping Straight to Disaster

What it sounds like: If we don’t nail this next presentation, we could lose everything we’ve built. If I don’t figure out this AI transition, I’m going to lose my job.

Catastrophizing means jumping from a difficult present moment to a worst-case future—and then responding to the imagined disaster as if it’s already happening. When the environment is uncertain, the brain tries to protect itself by reaching for worst-case scenarios: If I imagine the disaster, maybe I can prevent it. But a mind that’s busy managing an imagined catastrophe can’t think clearly about the actual situation in front of it.

This is the energy drain I see most often in my work with senior leaders. I recently worked with a leadership team navigating intense pressure from key stakeholders—the kind of environment where every quarterly review felt high-stakes. They were spending enormous energy on contingency planning for outcomes that were unlikely, while the real issue—a cadence of communication with the stakeholders that was creating more anxiety than it resolved—went unaddressed. They were managing the wrong fire.

The reframe:

Bring yourself back to right now. Not the 17th step, not the worst-case outcome. Just the next concrete action. What is the first thing you need to do? Focus there. You can’t solve a problem you haven’t arrived at yet.

The Practice: From Stressed Leader to Strategic Leader

Thinking traps are not a sign of weakness or inadequacy. They’re a sign of being human—and of being in a demanding role. Every leader I’ve worked with, at every level of every organization, has experienced some version of every trap on this list. I have too.

We can’t stop our brains from generating these patterns. But we can take back our power by learning to recognize them and developing the habits that help us find our way back to clear thinking.

If you recognize yourself in one or more of the traps on this list, take that as a signal—not that something is wrong with you, but that you need a reset. Start with the physical foundations of self-care. You might be tired of reminders to get more sleep, but it really can change so much. So can real meals and regular movement. When you’re running on empty, every trap hits harder and faster. Protect your energy the way you’d protect any other strategic resource.

Then build the noticing habit. This week, pick one trap from the list—the one that seems to always snare you. Then, just once, catch yourself when you’ve fallen in. You don’t have to fix it immediately. Just notice it. Name it. And then ask yourself what you would say to a trusted colleague who was thinking this way.

You probably wouldn’t tell them the one bad quarter defined their career. You probably wouldn’t tell them that a silent inbox meant a lost relationship. Or that the worst-case outcome was inevitable.

You’d help them see the fuller picture. You’d remind them what they’re good at. You’d tell them the truth with kindness.

Give yourself the same clarity and compassion you’d give someone you respect.

Ready to Go Deeper?

When leaders are stuck in stress mode, the cost shows up in retention, decision-making and the performance of entire teams. For more than 17 years, we’ve helped leaders and organizations across industries build the skills to lead strategically through complexity and change. If you’re seeing these patterns in yourself or your leadership team, let’s talk. Reach out at neena@newberrysolutions.com, learn more about coaching and other offerings or explore New Lens®, our award-winning leadership development platform, at www.newlensleadership.com.

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Don’t wait for performance to drop before taking action. Discover how the New Lens® platform helps organizations support managers with bite-sized, actionable learning—built for today’s fast-paced, high-stress environments.

How to Discover Your Resilience

A client I've worked with about six months just got some great news: a promotion! I'm very proud of her, especially because she had just gone through an experience that had shaken her confidence. When a new role left her battling self-doubt, we worked together to get her "back to herself" so she could be a star performer again (and show this to others).  She's a great example of resilience, our blog theme this month. And the secret to her resilience was all in her mindset. She was willing to explore what had worked in the past to figure out what to do going forward. Together, we looked back at another time when she had been in a new situation and got up to speed quickly. This helped us discover strategies to use now.   If you need some insights on how to get through your own difficult situation, try working with the questions below. First, think of a challenge or setback you faced in the past and how you got through it. Then ask yourself:

• What was going on?

• What did you do in response?

• What worked?

• What mindset did you have? How you look at things makes the biggest difference in whether you're resilient. What were you thinking and feeling? (And how accurate were those thoughts and feelings?) How did you frame the situation?

• How did you engage others?

• What did you have to let go of? (For example, a process, a situation or a belief)

• What worked that surprised you?

• What skills did you use?

• What is one thing that you did then that could help you today?

My client found clues in her past that unlocked the resilience she needed today. This week, use these questions to gain insights from your past successes to help with a current challenge. For more ideas on finding your best success strategies, check out my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠. Even taking a few small steps can lead you big results.

Spilled Drinks and Defining Leadership Moments

We all make mistakes at work — sometimes they're even really big, embarrassing mistakes. But no matter what happened, what matters a whole lot more is what you do afterward. I gave some impromptu coaching on this subject at a surprising time: after a waiter had just spilled a tray full of drinks all over me.

I was out with family members at a restaurant close to home when the waiter fumbled, giving me a sudden shower of iced tea and soft drinks. The spill was such a jolt that I jumped up out of my seat. But what was really surprising was the waiter's reaction: Instead of helping me or apologizing, he started to clean the table. I couldn’t believe I had to ask for a towel as I stood there dripping.

Luckily my home is close enough to the restaurant that I could dash back, change clothes and return to salvage the meal. Back at our table, though, the mess from the spill wasn’t getting cleaned up, and the waiter was MIA. When I got back, I called the manager over to take our order.

At the end of our eventful lunch, over an hour later, our waiter finally reappeared with the check and an apology. He said was used to being a strong performer and nothing like this mishap had ever happened to him before. He was so shocked that he just didn’t know what to do.

I told him that I wasn't mad about the initial spill – because it wasn’t intentional – but what did trouble me was how he reacted afterward. The fact that he completely avoided a difficult situation told me that he wasn’t willing to take ownership. And was that really the message he intended to send? I encouraged him to not let one slip-up define him because he knows he’s better than that.

By the time we finished our conversation, he looked like a new person. As I stood in the parking lot with my family as we said our goodbyes, the manager ran out to tell me the waiter was beaming and thanked me for taking the time to coach him.

At one point or another, we all find ourselves in this waiter's shoes. We mess up; everyone knows; we wonder how we'll ever recover. These times can be defining moments in our leadership. Like the waiter, we can be remembered for the mistake or how we respond and recover — it's up to us. And remember, if you’re the person on the receiving end of the mistake, you can help the other person grow and learn from their mistake.

This week, take some time to think about your last big goof and how you recovered. What would you do differently next time? You'll find more ideas on defining yourself as a leader on my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠.

4 Powerful Questions to Get You Moving Forward

Our blog topic this month is resilience. How you bounce back from challenges big and small is one of the keys to your success — not to mention your happiness. Sometimes finding the way forward takes some self-reflection. If you're feeling stuck, frustrated or tired of dealing with the same problems again and again, there might be solutions right in front of you that you just can’t see.

These four questions can help clear away your mental blocks so that you can move forward.

1. What’s your mindset? Start by looking at your attitude about your situation. What are you telling yourself? For example, it could be:

• “I don’t have the energy to deal with this.”

• “Why try harder? It won’t really make a difference.”

• “Things will never get better.”

Your mindset may be the very thing that's holding you back, because it affects your choices and how you engage with others. If you find that your self-talk is negative, what messages do you want to replace the current ones with so that you can make more progress?

2. What are you tolerating that you need to let go of? We all have things, large and small, that we tolerate in our lives. When you hold onto them for too long, they can significantly affect your progress. Take a look at the list below to see if any of these apply to you:

• Being disorganized, resulting in unproductive time

• Failing to plan ahead, allowing lower priority work to take over

• Doing work that others should be doing because of a failure to hold others accountable or delegate

What one small change can you make to free up some energy, and create capacity to find a solution?

3. What choices are you making that are keeping you where you are? Things typically don’t just happen to us. Outcomes are usually the result of a series or choices that we and others have made along the way. When we make some choices over and over again, they form patterns that may not serve us well.

So, if you’re frustrated by what’s going on around you, ask yourself how you are enabling that situation to continue. The following questions may provoke some ideas:

• Do you keep trying the same approach, but expect a different result?

• Are you putting off a difficult conversation?

• Have your engaged others in solving the problem with you (e.g., escalated the issue that needs to be addressed)?

As you consider the questions above, what do you notice about your own behavior?

4. Are you burnt out? Finally, your physical health could be a surprising factor that's keeping you from making progress. Are you getting enough sleep? What does your diet look like? Feeling physically drained can lead you to make more emotional rather than rational decisions. Even getting 15 minutes more of sleep, making sure you don’t skip a meal, or taking five-minute breaks throughout the day can make a big difference.

If you are having difficulty answering any of these questions, ask someone to think through them with you. Choose someone who will be candid with you. Remember that small changes lead to big results. For more practical ideas and resources, check out my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠.

Leading Without Authority

I often hear complaints from people having trouble getting what they need from colleagues who don’t report to them. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Demonstrating leadership is possible (and important) in your job even if a word like “executive” or “officer” is not part of your job title. It takes understanding yourself and those around you.

When you aren't in a position of authority, you can't just direct people to take action. So, what strategies can you use instead? Here are three to try.

Determine how others view you

You'll be most effective in influencing others if you first examine your own reputation. What others think of you will affect how they interpret your suggestions. If, for example, you're known for always doing the right thing for the business, it may make it easier to get traction. Also consider whether any part of your reputation could stand in the way of what you're trying to accomplish. Perhaps your directness rubs some people the wrong way, so you may need to consider that as you develop the best approach.

Leverage your advocates

Get clear on who does have power and influence to help you in the current situation, and remember to consider informal and formal leaders. Based on the messages that need to be delivered, who would be most effective in conveying them? Who would have the biggest impact? Request the involvement of these individuals by explaining the bigger picture, the key business results you are trying to achieve.

Build alignment

To more effectively lead without authority, find the alignment between your goals and what's important to others. Look for the common ground you already share with the people you want to influence, and frame your suggestions in that context. Perhaps it's a commitment to innovation or customer service.

You can then work to drive alignment in other areas. People will be more receptive to what you want when you invest in taking time to understand their needs. How will what you're asking of them affect their results, their credibility and their relationships? What data and other information can you give them to show how will they benefit?

This week, think about something you're working on and one step you can take to leverage one of these strategies to make further progress. Even if you do have formal authority, this exercise can still be useful. Remember that small steps lead to big results. For more ideas on this topic, see the modules on Getting the Right Work Done and Building a Network of Advocates in the WOW! Lite Program℠

Increase Your Influence in One Conversation

We’re sharing ideas this month to help you be the kind of leader you want to be. This week, I want to tell you about a strategy that can make all the difference in managing a work relationship. I spent a large part of my career in various leadership roles at Deloitte. Every time I started a new project with a team, I would have a conversation with each person at the outset. Our discussion topics ranged from goals to strengths to communication styles.

First, we would talk about that person’s goals for the year and for her career as a whole.

• What skills and exposure do you want?

• Who do you want to work with and why?

• What are your specific goals for the current project?

• What would make you feel that the project was a great experience?

Next, I asked questions to get a handle on her strengths and preferences:

• In the context of the work we’re about to do, what should I know about what you’re really good at and any relevant past experiences? (This reveals critical information that otherwise might not surface as quickly and can be a good team exercise.)

• What is the best way to communicate with you (face-to-face or email)?

• If I need something from you quickly, what’s the best way to approach it?

As I learned more about each team member, I also shared what worked for me and my preferences as a leader.

From there, we set some agreements on working together. I let the team member know what I could offer through the current project that fit her goals. We could decide on a communication approach that worked for us both and on how we would gauge our progress along the way.

This conversation was a great way to set the stage for an open and effective working relationship. It allowed us to become more proactive about creating the right opportunities, and the team member understood that I was coming from a place of genuine interest in her goals and development.

Whether you’re working with a new team or an existing one, it’s never too late to ask some of these questions. This week, I challenge you to identify one conversation you’d like to have, or one question you would like to ask from the list above. You can find more ideas like this one in the chapter “Strategies to Create a High-Performing Team” in my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens. Remember, small steps can lead to big results

Do You Fall Into These Leadership Traps?

This month, we’re talking about what kind of leader you want to be. As an executive coach, I’ve helped many leaders identify and address their personal stumbling blocks so that they can reach their full potential. Take a look at this list of some of the most common leadership traps. Which ones strike a chord with you?

The trap: You get bogged down in the small stuff. You often get distracted from the work that’s going to make the most difference. The fix: Identify the top three areas that reflect where you can have the biggest impact on the business and make the highest and best use of your skills. This is where you should focus your energy.

The trap: You don’t connect the dots, so colleagues may misinterpret the meaning behind your actions. The fix: First, get clear about the top three things that guide your leadership. Then use it to frame up what you say and do. In other words, regularly give others insight on what you think is important, how you measure success and the results you are trying to achieve.

The trap: You aren’t communicating the bigger picture. Are you telling people what you want to do but leaving out the “why”? The fix: Connect what you are proposing to how it relates to what’s right for the business or team.

The trap: Emotions get the better of you. You have trouble managing your moods and reactions. Your tone and body language convey stress or frustration. The fix: Practice self-care to keep yourself centered, grounded and positive. Learn strategies to manage your emotions when your buttons get pushed.

The trap: You bring more negative energy than positive. The ability to spot and flag problems or risks is a strength, but you may be coming off as a naysayer. The fix: Frame your concerns more positively. There’s a big difference between “There’s a lot that could go wrong with this idea.” and “I really like Points A, B and C of this idea. And let’s also consider these other aspects…”

The trap: You don’t make the most of your team. You sense there’s untapped potential and a lack of engagement. The fix: Get to know the strengths and passions of your team members so that you can proactively assign them work that plays to them, and will get them excited.

The trap: You ignore office politics. Perhaps you’d prefer to remain above it all and let your work speak for itself, but what’s going on politically in your office affects your ability to get results. The fix:  Look at who has the resources, information and influence you need to get business results. How can you get those people in your corner?

The trap: You put networking on the backburner. I get it: You’re busy, and networking seems time-consuming or intimidating. But you need strong relationships to accomplish your goals and help your career grow. The fix: Make networking a habit. Even taking a few minutes each week to pass along an interesting article or make an introduction can strengthen your relationships.

Which of these traps do you fall into? This week, pick one of the areas that give you trouble and see what you can change. My book “Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens” has more resources you can use. Remember, you don’t have to tackle it all at once. Small steps can lead to big results.